Both Matt and I came crashing into the waiting wall this weekend. We both looked at each other and wondered aloud, "When will we get Oliver's referral?". The answer: who knows?
We've been waiting nearly 34 months for a referral from China. We are aware how long the wait can go. With China, we are resigned to the fact that we can tick off progress, no matter how slow, each month with the arrival of referrals. But with Ethiopia? We know nothing. We have nothing to go on except for the timeframe our agency gave us. Its better than nothing.
For us, the waiting game always seems the same. At first, you are excited, eager with anticipation, looking forward to referral day. Then, as time goes by, you become discouraged and time seems to move slowly. The next phase is the worst, feeling like it is never going to happen, something is wrong with your dossier, they don't like you, etc. It's the rollercoaster of emotion and wondering. It then seems the next step is the numbness. You step back, reassess and guard your heart. Then you repeat the process until the referral comes.
Right now, I am in the pity party stage. I'm comparing our wait to others, searching for blogs of those who adopted recently, adding up how long they waited. It's not comforting, some waits are a few weeks and some are months and months. They are all over the place.
In the meantime, in order to avoid the full-blown pity party, I am keeping myself as busy as possible. Chloe starts kindergarten in three weeks and we are enjoying our last few weeks of summer. The new puppy, Flash, is also keeping us busy. He's a handful. My father is coming up for a week to spend some time with us since he couldn't come when my mother and sister visited because of the growing season.
I'm hoping this new stage of waiting will end soon with a referral.
6 comments:
Bless your heart. I feel with you - I'm exactly one month behind your time frame on waiting. It's hard on some days and on others I didn't even realize that another week has passed (my ticker just shows it, lol).
Hope and pray for referrals soon, but have to keep reminding myself it's all Gods timing (as hard as it is sometimes), and that He has our child set aside for us.
Until then............we just keep on waiting.
Blessings,
Mel
Hi Shannon,
I was planning to leave a comment the other day, and then went off to do something, and I never did. I'm wondering if you are the Shannon that left a comment on my blog (Amazing Grace). I've been checking in with you, feeling your pain of waiting, praying for your referral. In reading what Mel said, it's so true, that it is in God's perfect timing, but sometimes the human part of us wonders when that will be. Tammy, from Dove, said something to us on the phone, that I keep trying to do. She said, "Just live your life while you wait." I thought about "living" rather than "waiting". You never know what tomorrow brings, or the next five minutes for that matter, so it's important to make every moment count, for each moment holds so many special things.
Please know we're waiting with you and that God has your baby boy waiting in the wings for you.
Blessings,
Angie
Hang in there, it will come soon. We feel the same pain and heartache for our children..God's timing is always perfect - you will see:)
Shannon,
Thank you for the congratulations message you left and sorry about the long wait for your referral. I feel so bad and hope that it will all end soon with the most beautiful child you could ever imagine. I'm not a patient person so I can only imagine how many times a day you check emails, blogs, phone message, etc.
Hopefully soon you'll be posting wonderful news for us all to share.
Deb
Hang in there! I don't know you, but found your blog off of someone else's blog, and became diligent in checking all the blogs of people using Dove daily. Tammy called with our referral last Saturday! (6 months and 1 week after DTE). I went through terrible ups and downs during our wait and can totally relate with your struggles. I pray that God brings you peace and hope that surpass all understanding as you continue to wait.
P.S. our blog is wilsonadoptionnews/blogspot.com
Post a Comment