Our Dossier is in Ethiopia!!!

Celebrating D.T.E.

To celebrate we decided to go out to eat. I wanted to go and eat Ethiopian food but the closest Ethiopian restaurant is in NYC and another is about 35 minutes south in NJ. Matt got home about 7 p.m. and I didn't want to make him turn around and head back into the city and it was getting late so we didn't want to trek south to the other Ethiopian restaurant in NJ. So, we did what was practical, grabbed one of the restaurant gift certificates we won a few weeks ago and went here. I know, I know, what were we thinking? Well, we had a $50 gift certificate to use and Chloe loves pasta, so why not we thought. I had eaten there before and it wasn't bad--should have driven for the Ethiopian food.

We got seated right away, someone took our drink order, our drinks came and then we were forgotten about---for 25 minutes. Apparently the two waitresses disagreed on which one should wait on our table. So, they decided neither of them should. Matt got it sorted out and we eventually did get to order and eat, not without some other complications. Needless to say, it wasn't a great meal out and we won't be returning. Not the celebration we wanted.

One of the exciting things about Ethiopian adoption is that you get to track your dossier to Ethiopia. We didn't get to do this with our two China dossiers---you get to wait and wonder until about 1-2 months later when you get a notice that you're dossier reached China and was logged in. Our Ethiopian dossier is different and I woke this morning to check-in and see how its progressing on its journey to Africa.

IT'S IN NEW YORK CITY.

All this work, the paperchasing, the worrying, the double-checking and triple-checking to have our dossier go to Oregon then to Washington D.C. then back to Oregon then on to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia to have it sitting 20 miles from my home in NYC. Too funny.

So, I'll keep checking in on it I am sure. And, yes, I signed up for the delivery alert, but yes, I am still checking in on it.

Our Dossier is on its way to Ethiopia!!!!

I was seriously going from every Ethiopian adoption blog I knew calculating how long it averages to get your documents authenticated in D.C. when an email popped up from our agency----

"Dear Matthew and Shannon:
Your Dossier was sent to Ethiopia today!"

I was so happy to see that email. I was struck with emotion and became tearful to see the words that our dossier is on its way to Ethiopia. This is our third "dossier to..." in international adoption and the relief, joy and excitement is always there each time.

Onesies

Its been a two weeks and one day since our dossier arrived at our agency. No word on its current whereabouts. I assume it is still being authenticated.

In honor of finishing our dossier I purchased these onesies for Oliver from a merchant on Et*sy and they arrived today. I think they are so cute.

Why Did You Opt for an International Adoption?

I ♥ NPR

I found this interview on NPR. It is a discussion of why people choose to adopt internationally.

In our adoption news, no word yet on the status of our dossier. I am hoping/praying that it is sent this week to Ethiopia.

One Week Down

Its been a week and a day since our agency received our dossier. It should be getting authenticated in D.C. now.

We won't be officially "waiting" for our referral until it arrives in Ethiopia.

Complete and Utter Panic...

but it's a-ok now. For about 30 minutes this afternoon my heart was racing as I was trying to figure out what happened to our homestudy, what happened to our release and why our homestudy agency is so confused and why our adoption agency and homestudy agency are having some problems communicating. This is how it went down:

I'm at swimming lessons with Chloe when my cell phone rings. It's our homestudy agency. I pick up the phone--they have a problem. Our adoption agency has called them and want to know when they sent the draft copy of our homestudy for approval, because they don't have a copy of it on record. The lady on the phone then tells me she can't send them a copy because that's not our placing/adoption agency that they have on file--they have Great Wall. So, she refused to send them the homestudy. After talking to her for about 5 minutes, I am so confused. Why does our adoption agency need our homestudy draft, they have our dossier? And, why does our homestudy agency have no record of them as our placing agency? I hang up with her telling her I would call our adoption agency and get back to her in a little while.

So, I'm totally confused. I'm standing by a swimming pool trying to figure out--

a) why our adoption agency needs a draft of our homestudy when they have our completed dossiers with the approved homestudy in the dossier

b) why our homestudy agency thinks we are completing an Ethiopian adoption with Great Wall (our agency for our China adoptions and with whom they would never have had any communication yet b/c our dossiers for our China adoption was written by a social worker with Great Wall in 2006 when we still lived in Texas)

c) what the heck is going on?

So, I try not to panic and remain calm while I get Chloe showered and dressed. We make it home where I call our Ethiopian adoption agency to get the low-down on what they called our homestudy agency for exactly. It seems they have to report reviews of all homestudies for Hague compliance and they somehow didn't have the original email with our homestudy draft. They were calling to get it resent so they could have it on record. I then called our homestudy agency (here in NJ) to clear things up. They apparently had misfiled our paperwork and only had that we were waiting for our referral from China with Great Wall and would have to do a new homestudy for China. Apparently they realized they had misfiled something after they got off the phone with me, dug around and found all the correct documentation.

In the end it was much ado about nothing but it did send me into a complete panic until I could clear things up. Apparently, having clients who are in the process of two international adoptions at the same time is very confusing to our homestudy agency. Luckily, they figured it out and all is back on track--WHEW!

The Dossier Arrived at the Agency

We got an email last evening that our dossier arrived at our agency. It will now be sent to D.C. for authentication and then it's off across the Atlantic.

Our dossier should be in Ethiopia before May!

What Happens Next?

Our dossiers should arrive at our adoption agency this afternoon. Yes, for an Ethiopian adoption you must submit three dossiers. Once our dossies arrive, our agency will spend some time reviewing them and barring any errors in them will send our completed dossier to Washington, D.C. for final authentication by the State Department and Ethiopian Embassy. That’s right, Hillary gets to sign off on our dossier. After that our dossier is sent by our agency to Ethiopia. On average, it takes about 2 weeks for our dossier to go through this process before it finally departs for Ethiopia. One of the neat things about the Ethiopia process compared to the China adoption process is that we get to track our dossier from the U.S. to Addis Ababa, so we will know the exact time it touched down.

Once our dossier makes it Addis Ababa, here’s what follows:

1. Our dossier is translated to Amharic. The dossier is then presented to the officials at the Ministry of Women’s Affairs (MOWA) and the orphanage, Toukoul. After reviewing our dossier, the orphanage will refer us a child that best fits our requests and family. This can take anywhere from 3-9 months.

2. We receive medical history, photos and information on our child. Once we accept we begin the wait for our court date. We will be unable to post any identifying information on our child until he is officially ours. So, sorry, no photos on this or the other blog.

3. The court date is several weeks after referral. Also, the courts will close this August for the rainy season, which, depending on when we receive our referral, could delay our court date. Our agency estimates from referral to bringing Oliver home will be 2-5 months. A judge will hear our case and will hopefully grant us custody of Oliver. We will officially be his parents and can plan our travel dates.

4.We go to Ethiopia to bring our son home!

I haven’t spoken to our agency about the latest timetable but am planning on doing so once we hear about our dossier.

The Dossier is Done!

Our final document arrived this morning and I just finished checking and double-checking our three dossiers--and they are complete. I just sealed them in an envelope and after I pick up Chloe from preschool we are overnighting it to our agency!

Losing My Mind

Funny story...now that our dossier is almost complete I am eagerly anticipating when it will be finished and sent to Ethiopia so that we can move on to the waiting game. According to my husband, Matt, I go completely neurotic when I get close to finishing a dossier. I apparently become an utter nutter.

We knew that we had a few adoption-related items to complete yesterday--get our passport-sized photos taken and get our introduction letter notarized. We had a fundraiser to attend last night and I had to help set up for it in the morning. After setting up I came home and we all had lunch together. Afterwards, Chloe started playing and Matt sat down in the recliner for a nap. I seized the opportunity to grab our dossier and give it a once over and see what else needed to be completed. I got so engrossed in checking over the dossier that I glanced at the clock to see that it was 12:48 p.m. I went into super freak-out mode and started yelling, "We have 10 minutes to get to the bank before they close!" (to get our paper notarized). Matt popped out of the chair from his slumber, grabbed his shoes and coat while I assisted Chloe in finding her shoes (which I didn't tie).

We rushed to the bank in the car all the while with me shouting, "we're not going to make it!". I pull into a parking spot, avoid paying the parking meter and rush into the bank like a stark raving lunatic with Matt and Chloe following behind. It was only then that I found out that the bank didn't close for another hour. After the bank, Matt and I got our photos taken and we came home after another errand. We had been gone about an hour when we pulled into the driveway to find that our dog was waiting patiently in the yard--as we rushed out of the house without bringing her back inside.

The moral to my story is that I must have baby on the brain. Our dossier should be sent off next week to Dove barring any unforseen circumstances. One of our reference letters has to be re-written and notarized again as I realized that the notarization expires in 2009, which is a no-no, the notarization should be a year or more from the date the letter/paper is notarized, so it had to get redone. Tomorrow our state authenticated I-171h should arrive. Once our new reference letter arrives we will be done with the paper chase and on to the waiting phase.

Hopefully my neuroticism we lessen, but I highly doubt it.

An Interview on IA...

This was on CNN.com today. You can link to the article here.

(CNN) -- Malawi's decision to reject pop star Madonna's adoption of a local child has reignited global debate about the ethics of international adoption.

Author Melissa Fay Greene poses with her family, which includes biological and adopted children.

Some international aid groups have praised the decision as best for the child, a 4-year-old girl named Chifundo James.

"I think it really highlights the bigger picture that there are so many children living in poverty in Malawi, and while Madonna has good intentions ... children would be better off staying in their own communities whenever possible," said Karen Hansen-Kuhn, policy director for ActionAid USA, a development group that also works in Malawi.

"We really need to stay focused on the needs of Malawi and of all the children there," she added.
To get another perspective on the situation, CNN also talked with Melissa Fay Greene, an author and mother of five adopted children.

Greene, who lives in Atlanta, Georgia, is the mother of four biological children, four children adopted from Ethiopia and one adopted child from Bulgaria.

The following is an edited transcript of that conversation:
CNN: What's your initial reaction to the news that Madonna's adoption of a Malawian child has been rejected?

Greene: Surprise. ... It was awfully tricky with Madonna's first adoption, when the child turned out to have devoted family members nearby. [The singer's adoption of a Malawian boy was finalized last year.] And if that's true with this child also, it seems a similar sticky situation.

That's not the situation for the majority of orphanage children around the world, who don't have caring grandparents or aunts and uncles a short walk or bike ride away.

I think it gives people an odd perspective on what international adoption can mean for children who don't have any support network outside the walls of an orphanage.

You often hear attacks on international adoption as robbing a child of his or her culture, and that's both true and false. It's true that an internationally adopted child loses the rich background of history and religion and culture and language that the child was born into, but the cruel fact is that most children don't have access to the local, beautiful culture within an orphanage. ...

There's a culture in orphanages that children are eager to escape from, and it's a culture of being reared as a group and not being doted upon by parents. For any child, that's the bottom line. The fact is that a human child wants that mommy or daddy or both. We're just wired to want that and to need that. And there's no way an institutional setting can give a human baby what the child needs. It's impossible. So you have to balance priorities. ...

I think what some of the human rights group say is absolutely accurate: that international adoption does not begin to solve the problems of the world's orphaned children. It's truly not the answer. ...

At the same time, international adoption, even though it doesn't solve the whole problem, it solves a problem for a few. I think it can be a brilliant solution to the problem of adults wanting a child in their lives or wanting more children in their lives and the problem of children who want parents in their lives.

CNN: How is it different for a celebrity person seeking an [international] adoption than for yourself?

Greene: We don't jet in, take a child and fly out with a child. For an average citizen trying to adopt, it takes most of a year. First of all, you work with a country that already has international adoption regulations in place, so you have a bureaucracy dealing with international adoption. A big part of that is determining that the child is a true orphan, that there is no one who can care for the child. And in the case of our older kids' adoptions, people had to come to court to testify that there was no one to take the children. So you don't run the risk of 'Oh, whoops, there's a grandmother down the street.' ...

CNN: There's been some chatter today online questioning why a person wouldn't adopt an orphaned child from their own country.

Greene: Within the adoption world, it's a non-issue. There are children all over the world who need families, and some find their children in Philadelphia, and some find their children in Bulgaria, you know? ...

It's just outsiders who look on and judge disapprovingly, but then they don't go on to adopt the neighborhood children, right? ... There are many children who need help, and anyone who wants to reach out and adopt a child from foster care or from a Russian orphanage should reach out and do it.

CNN: What has the experience been like for your own foster children?

Greene: We're a white Jewish family in Atlanta, but Atlanta is a major city for eastern African immigrants. So our children are in touch with the Ethiopian diaspora, and they feel very much a part of that. Atlanta is full of Ethiopian restaurants, markets, festivals. For a while, my kids were playing on weekends with an Ethiopian soccer league. I have an Ethiopian baby sitter who speaks to them only in Amharic so they won't lose their language, and we always have Ethiopian food here.

Two years ago, we went back to Ethiopia with the kids and had a big reunion for one of my sons and his extended family ... We just consider ourselves sort of part of this amazing bicontinental family.

CNN: The first time you adopted internationally, can you tell me what your ethical considerations were and how you worked through that personally?

Greene: Our first adoption was of a boy in rural Bulgaria. An incredibly poor orphanage. The kids were hungry, thirsty, no education. I first met our son, Jesse, when he was 4. He was 4 years old, and he did not know what his own name was ...

When he first came, he was just so anxious about food. When he would wake up, he was just shaking, wondering if there was going to be enough food. So I started waking him up with food.
He had issues with water. He wasn't sure if there was going to be enough water to drink, so I bought him a little canteen so he could wear his water all of the time.

Do I have ethical issues about taking him out of that orphanage? I don't.

CNN: Is there anything else you wanted to add?

Greene: I admire Madonna. And I don't understand why everyone attacks Madonna. I think that she is in part trying to raise the world's consciousness about the African orphan crisis.

You know, 95 percent of the children orphaned by AIDS [globally] are in sub-Saharan Africa.

You don't hear world leaders talking about it. Where is the global outrage? ... So, into the breach steps a celebrity. But don't attack her for it, you know. Maybe her methods are not what ours would be, but how many of us are Madonna? But at least she is out there; she's creating a school.
Obviously, she's fallen in love with the Malawian children to such an extent she wants to make some of them her own. And I think that it's great. I just don't understand why the world's attacking her. Let other people step forth and do something. At least she's trying. That's my feeling.

NO FOOLIN'..."IT'S" HERE!! (I-171H)

Chloe and I came back from our all-day search for Easter shoes to find that our I-171h arrived!!! Its only been 1 1/2 weeks since fingerprinting!! I snapped this shot and immediately made copies so I can send it off for state certification tomorrow. Hopefully our dossier will be in Ethiopia this month!!! Yipppeeee!!!