Our Journey to Oliver

Now Blogging Here

2010-08-25T15:26:00.000-04:00

I've kept this blog strictly for Oliver's journey home. Now that he is home, I'm solely blogging at A Family United. Hope to see you there.

8 Months Old Today

2010-02-16T09:58:00.033-05:00

The many faces of Oliver...

Inquisitive

Upset

Silly

and that was all in a 2 minute span! Oliver has been home a little over a month and is settling in nicely to a routine. He sleeps well at night--has since the third night home. Naps during the day are a different story. He's a cat napper--taking 30 minute naps twice a day. He could probably use a third one in the late afternoon too.

Oliver can sit on his own now and babbles constantly. We are trying to encourage him to crawl and he is not far off from it. His upper body strength was weak when he came home and we have been working on that as well. We are still working out the feeding schedule but it's starting to come together as Oliver gets on a routine schedule.

Making a Blog Book

2010-02-03T11:36:00.000-05:00

Only because you asked. I've tried before using other sites, but it seems that it just took your blog and slapped it in book form with little creative control. So, here's what I am going to do to make this blog into a keepsake book for Oliver. I "borrowed" most of these instructions from other bloggers who have forged before me into this realm.

I am going to make this blog into a 8x10 full color, hardbound book. Once I get it all done I will post photos of the final result.
Here's what you need to do:

1. Go to http://www.blurb.com/. Prices vary depending on the size of your book and the number of pages.

2. Create a free membership with a username and password then download Blurb's "booksmart" software. It's in the orange rectangle on their site. This is the software you'll use to make the book.

3. Open the Booksmart program, and click Create a new book. It'll ask you to choose the size you want. You'll then choose a background theme.
4. It will ask what layout you want and you'll choose "Blog to Book." It asks for your blog username and password. It will list all your blog posts, and you check all the ones you want included. I am going to put Oliver's blog all in one book, but when I get ready, I will divide our Family United blog into years.
It uses a default layout with a text box and a spot for 6 pictures. You can choose a custom layout if you have more pictures

Oliver Without His Hands in His Mouth

2010-01-27T13:56:00.001-05:00

...and it wasn't easy to take photos without them in his mouth. My mother commented that Oliver has his fingers in his mouth on most of his photos so I decided to take some photos of Oliver sans fingers.

Oh, and that's applesauce and oatmeal on his face.

On a side note...since our journey to Oliver has come to an end and our journey as a family of 4 is beginning, I will be sending this blog to the publisher to be printed in book form and blogging only at A Family United. This change should take place within the next month.

This Boy Likes to Eat!

2010-01-21T19:36:00.000-05:00

Church

2010-01-18T08:36:00.001-05:00

We attended church today--all 4 of us. We were surprised to find out that our church was honoring the adoption of Oliver. They placed a special rose on the center altar and made a special announcement at the church service. Oliver got a round of applause. Everyone was so nice and they also made a big deal out of Chloe becoming a big sister. It was great.

We've been asked to give a testimony on our adoptions at church service. I am not sure if we will, we will have to see.

Picture Day

2010-01-15T13:41:00.000-05:00

Since my sister is still here to help me out, I decided to take both Chloe and Oliver to have their pictures taken today. Here's what we got for Oliver...

At Home Update

2010-01-13T10:23:00.001-05:00

First, Oliver did great on the flights home. He slept most of the time and we landed at JFK around 8 a.m. We stayed up and tried to keep Oliver as awake as possible to get him adjusted to his new time zone. He improves each night but is sleeping from 7 p.m. until around 3 a.m. when he wakes for a feeding. He then goes back to sleep until about 7:30 a.m.

He is a happy and easy-going baby and we are so happy. Chloe is very interested in him and wants to bring him to school for show and tell! We have had a few meltdowns but we try to remind Chloe each day that she is doing a great job sharing mommy & daddy with her brother.

Oliver loves to eat and is currently taking an 8 oz. bottle every two hours! Yikes! It's constant feeding around here.

I mentioned the pollution in Addis Ababa and how it played havoc on mine and Matt's sinuses. Monday I got a full-blown sinus infection and went in to see the doctor yesterday. I am on an antibiotic and it seems the sinus infection moved into my eye (or I picked something up on the airplane) and has caused me to get conjunctivitus (a.k.a. pink eye) . There's lots of sanitizing and hand-washing going on around here.

My sister is still here helping us. She's suffering from a sore throat and ear ache too but has been a big help to me. Matt is back at work and I love my husband so much for being my "rock". He's been getting up very early to get home early and has supported me during some meltdowns from exhaustion and sickness.

Oliver goes to the pediatrician later this week and we are hoping for a clean bill of health.

I am going to share some videos we took while in Ethiopia. First is a short video of the first time we met Oliver. (Sorry for the wobbly video)

The next two videos are of the Ethiopian Orthodox Church Christmas service we went to on Wednesday night in Ethiopia. The couple coming down the aisle in the one video is getting married.

This video is of the priests chanting and dancing.

This video is of Matt dancing (and doing a great job) at Yod Absynnia with one of the professional dancers. For those of you who haven't traveled to Ethiopia to pick up your children---start practicing!

Last Day in Ethiopia

2010-01-08T15:42:00.000-05:00

Today is our last day in Ethiopia. We fly out this afternoon. We stop in Dubai for a short layover and then fly on to JFK, arriving home early Saturday morning.

We went to Toukoul after we stopped at a grocery store to buy the children some chocolate. Matt was Father Christmas, handing out sweets to the children. Even the nannies and the cook came out for a treat. Wendy went into the office for us and told them that Oliver had what appeared to be an asthma attack in the night and that we wanted some medicine to take with us. They wrote us a prescription for Ventolin.

We signed the paperwork officially releasing Oliver from Toukoul's care and received a cute yellow backpack and a traditional Ethiopian outfit for Oliver. We also got a chest x-ray and some more detailed medical records on him.

We walked around the orphanage and then were taken to see Oliver's room. There were about 20 babies in the room and 3 nannies. We were told there are 8 other baby rooms just like the room Oliver was in.

The families at the gates of Toukoul.

Oliver's crib at Toukoul.

After the final visit to the orphanage we went back to the hotel, packed and had lunch and then set out to see the Mercato and the Entoto Mountains.

The Mercato was stall after stall of everything imaginable. We saw spices being sold, berbere, old light fixtures, shoes, clothing and wiring.

The Entoto Mountains were lovely. Since Christmas was the day before, very few cars were on the road and the pollution was not as bad. We could see Addis Ababa from the top of the mountain. We also saw the women carrying eucalyptus down the mountain for 15 birr a day.

After our tour, we returned to the hotel and grabbed our suitcases. We said goodbye to Jennifer and Brian, who would be staying on for one more night, and then Wendy drove us to the airport.

Saying goodbye to Addis---at the airport.

Christmas in Ethiopia

2010-01-07T14:34:00.044-05:00

Wendy, or driver and all-around great guy, with Oliver.

Christmas is a major holiday in Ethiopia where more than half of the population is Orthodox Christian. The celebrations occur January 7, the Feast of the Epiphany, instead of December 25. We were lucky enough to be in Ethiopia on Genet (Christmas). The Orthodox Christians fast from meat for 45 days prior to January 7. All week long we could see goats, sheep and cattle being walked down the road and occassionally we could see a goat or sheep tied to the roof of a van (it was still alive). The custom is to kill and eat the animal on Christmas.

When we arrived back at the guest house on Wednesday evening there was a brahmin cow outside the hotel. I didn't think much of it until breakfast the next morning when Jennifer told me I missed Wendy, our driver, killing the cow. It never occured to me that the cow was for those at the hotel. I thought it was one of the neighbors. After breakfast we went out to see the cow carnage and take a lesson in cow anatomy 101.

Beef, its what's for dinner.

After the morning's events we went to Toukoul and picked up the babies. Since everything was closed for Christmas we decided to have the children spend the day and night with us. We would return to Toukoul on Friday morning to officially sign them out and recieve the rest of their medical information.

We arrived at Toukoul and since school was not in session there was more children than usual out playing in the courtyard. Matt had been handing out Tic Tacs to the older kids all week so they believed he would have something good for them for Christmas. Children ran up to him yelling "chocolate". Unfortunately we were unprepared and the stores were closed. Matt promised the children he would bring them chocolate on Friday.

Our children arrived and we were given one bottle of formula for them. We returned to the guest house where we were treated to a traditional Ethiopian meal in celebration of the holiday. After lunch the women at the hotel made coffee for us all. After lunch we put Oliver down for a nap and in the late afternoon we had more coffee with Aster and attempted to do some traditional Ethiopian dances.

The coffee ceremony

Matt and Brian dancing.

Matt and I dancing. I am mastering what I affectionately called "the chicken dance".

Wendy, our cook, holding Oliver.

We spent all day at the hotel relaxing and enjoying our children and celebrating the holiday. Oliver spent the night with us and he woke up once in the night with a coughing fit. It was pretty scary and we believe he could have asthma. All in all he slept pretty well but I wish I could say the same for myself--I kept waking every few hours to check on him and ended up getting very little sleep.

Brent, Amy & Meaza posing for their Christmas photo.

Oliver, one cool kid.

Dressed in our Christmas colors.

Getting the Visas

2010-01-06T13:08:00.002-05:00

We had a new driver today. We left the guest house around 9 a.m. to go to the Mercato but before we left the guest house found out that we needed to meet Sintayehu at the U.S. Embassy to get Oliver’s passport and visa around 10 a.m. We instead drove through the older part of Addis and saw the tin roofed homes in the oldest remaining area of town. We then parked up the street from the U.S. Embassy and waited for Sintayehu. Sintayehu showed and he went inside the embassy and came out a short time later with all the kids paperwork, passports and visas. After the paperwork pick-up we went to shops so the other families could finish picking up some gift items to take home. We then returned to the guest house for lunch.

After lunch Aster delivered our 5 kilos of coffee and we gave her our gratuity for the staff at the guest house since the Christmas holiday was approaching.

At 3:30 p.m. we went to Toukoul to see Oliver. He sounded better after the doctor had started the medicine for his cough and he was very alert and lively today. We walked outside since it was a warm and sunny day. Oliver does not seem to enjoy sitting indoors but likes to be where the action is. We walked with him around Toukoul and saw some young girls styling each other’s hair in the sunshine. After two hours the nannies returned. We then went to a supermarket to purchase some items before we returned to the guest house for dinner.

Tomorrow is Genet (Ethiopian Christmas) and we will go to Toukoul in the morning and bring Oliver back to the guest house to stay. On Friday we will return to Toukoul for a tour and to complete the official paperwork to sign Oliver out.

National Museum & Traditional Dinner

2010-01-05T13:07:00.001-05:00

We woke at 6:45 a.m. and had breakfast at 8 a.m. Wendy came to pick us up. We drove to the National Museum and Wendy was our guide. We saw Lucy and learned about Ethiopian culture & customs. While we were at the museum two groups of school children came to the museum. Each group sang a song before entering the museum. It was precious.

I felt much better today as I continued taking the allergy medicines. Matt was beginning to feel the pollution and thus started on the allergy medicine as well.

After the museum we returned once again to the Hilton to exchange money and to enjoy a diet Coke. We then went to the Emirat*es Airline office to confirm our tickets and to make sure we had the bulk head seats on our return flights.

After lunch at the guest house we went to Toukoul at 2 p.m. to meet with Dr. Tsige. We opted to have her meet with all three families at once. She discussed our children’s medical history since arriving at Toukoul and answered any questions we had about our children. Dr. Tsige and Matt got into a heated discussion about Oliver’s diaper blowout. It simply turned out to be miscommunication as Matt did not understand Dr. Tsige’s Ethiopian accent and she could not understand his British accent. I took over communication as Dr. Tsige could better understand my Texan English. We learned that Oliver had had clinical pneumonia. She also ordered that Oliver start albuterol for a raspy/rattling in his chest. He will continue the treatment for three days.

During the meeting our nannies brought us our children and we were able to feed them. Oliver received his medicine from Dr. Tsige also. After the meeting was over, the men went with Wendy to purchase soccer balls for the children of Toukoul and the women stayed behind to play with our kids. Once the men returned the kids came out of the buildings, having seen them carrying the large bag of soccer balls. One little boy entered the family room and asked, “Ball?”. I called out to Matt and he brought him a ball. Girls and boys then came out and kicked the soccer balls with the guys while we went to the Toukoul gift shop to complete the purchases we had started the day before.

We stayed at Toukoul until 6 p.m. Wendy drove us back to the guest house and at 7:15 p.m. we all left to go to Yod Abyssinia Cultural Restaurant for traditional Ethiopian dancing and dinner. Aster and Wendy joined us at the restaurant and ordered for us. Aster insisted on feeding us as it is an Ethiopian custom. We talked and watched the dancers. Later in the show the dancers came out and danced with the audience. Matt, Amy, Brent and I took a go at the traditional dances. During our entire dinner a group of very young children danced just below the stage. They were fantastic dancers themselves and we enjoyed watching them dance. Wendy informed us that Ethiopians are taught traditional dance once a week for an hour at school.

Dinner was fun and enjoyable. I think we all had a great time. We returned to the guest house around 11 p.m. tired and ready to get a good night’s sleep.

The Embassy Appt.

2010-01-04T13:06:00.001-05:00

We woke at 6:30 a.m. to the sound of dogs barking and a rooster crowing. In the distance you could hear the planes at Bole Airport taking off. We dressed and went down for breakfast. Wendy came at 8 a.m. to pick us up. Today is Embassy day. Dove’s normal embassy appointment would be on Thursday, January 7, but due to Genet (Ethiopian Christmas) our embassy appointment was moved to Monday. We drove to Toukoul to pick up the children.

We picked up Oliver, who was wearing the same clothes as the day before but this time with a rancid odor. We loaded into the vehicle and headed to the U.S. Embassy. During the car ride it became clear that Oliver was dirtying his diaper. Jennifer lent us a burp cloth to place in my lap in case of any leaks.

Traffic was crowded and we met Sintayehu outside the Embassy. Sintayehu ushered us down and across the road and into the embassy. We noticed that Oliver was leaking and we asked Sintayehu if we had time to change Oliver. Once we cleared the security checkpoint we were able to change Oliver’s diaper. What a mess!

We waited at the Embassy to hear our family name called out. We were the second family in our group to be called and we walked upstairs to the embassy officials window. We were handed two original documents and asked a series of questions. With that, we were done in a matter of minutes. Once the third family finished their meeting, we were ushered back across the street and into Wendy’s waiting car where he drove us back to the guest house.

When we returned to the guest house we bathed Oliver. Oliver was not pleased but it was a needed step as he smelled and his clothing was soiled. After he was bathed and changed we fed Oliver and he took our bottle easily. We spent the remainder of the time playing.

At noon we left to return the babies to Toukoul and came back to the guest house for lunch. In the afternoon we went to the Hilton to exchange money and send emails. After the Hilton, Wendy took us to some souvenir shops to buy souvenirs and gifts. We purchased an Ethiopian outfit for Oliver and Chloe, two rasta scarves, a wooden cross painting, a tablecloth, an Ethiopian flag, maps of Ethiopia and a white head scarf to wear to church (its required for women to wear the white head scarves at church during Genet). During our shopping trip I started feeling the effects of the altitude and pollution in Addis Ababa. I didn’t feel well at all.

I perked up when Wendy told us we would then go to Toukoul to visit our babies in the afternoon for two hours. When we arrived at Toukoul and the nannies brought Oliver to us his clothes had been changed once again. We were allowed to look inside the Toukoul gift shop even though the lady who ran the shop was not present that day. We were told to place items we wanted to purchase on the desk and we could pay the next day. We were surprised to find many of the items we had just purchased at a cheaper price. We had wished we had shopped Toukoul first.

While the three women in the group looked inside the gift shop with our children, the men were outside kicking the soccer ball with some older children of Toukoul. The kids soccer balls were old and falling apart. Once little boy, playing outside the gates of Toukoul was kicking the bladder (inside of a soccer ball) and after every kick he would blow air into the bladder to reinflate it. We decided we would have Wendy take us to a sporting goods store to buy the children new soccer balls the next day.

At 6 p.m. it was time to return to the guest house and say goodbye to Oliver. I started taking my Cla*ritin and was happy I also brought my decongestant as I was developing a scratchy throat, runny nose and itchy eyes. After dinner, we sat in the reception/office of the guest house and looked through the Toukoul catalog of items for sale in the gift shop and talked. Jennifer and I stayed up later than the others talking.

Off to Ethiopia and Oliver!!

2010-01-03T13:05:00.004-05:00

Neither Matt nor I could sleep very well last night. We both kept thinking about seeing Oliver. We were both awake at 3:45 a.m. and we just decided to get up and get ready. We could go to the airport, shop duty free and have breakfast and meet the other two families traveling to Ethiopia with us.

We checked out of the hotel and took a taxi to the airport. After checking in we ate breakfast and then attempted to shop the duty free shops. Dubai has many great shops but it was so crowded with people that it quickly became frustrating and impossible to move through the maze of people that we gave up and headed to the gate.

Once we were at the gate Matt and I sat down. I looked around at the people and spotted Jennifer, who would be traveling with us. We walked over and introduced ourselves to Jennifer & Bryan and Brent & Amy. All of us were with Dove and would be going to Toukoul together.

Shortly after our introductions we loaded a bus to our 777. There were many other adoptive families on the flight with other agencies. I was surprised by how many on board were going to Ethiopia to adopt. The flight was an easy 3+ hour journey from Dubai, over Saudi Arabia and Yemen into Dubai. We got to see the palm islands of Dubai on take-off and it was an awesome sight from the air.

As we came into Addis Ababa from the air you could see the mountains. There were buildings and barren earth scratched out between the homes and apartments.

The airport looked relatively new. We were one of the first people to disembark the plane and we missed seeing the sign that noted the room to get your visa. We stood in the immigration line. When we arrived at the window the immigration officer redirected us to the visa room. Many of the people leaving the plane made the same mistake as the sign is on the side of room and is not apparently visible as we come down the escalator into the immigration area.

Four officers sat at tables lined up in a row in the visa room. We handed our passports and completed landing cards to the visa officer who then wrote on a white piece of paper information from our passport. You then step to the next officer who takes your $20 visa fee and completes a handwritten receipt. You then step back to the original officer who handwrites your visa and affixes it inside your passport. You then go back and get in line for immigration. No one was left in the immigration line and those that remained, including the other 2 families, were back in the visa line so we immediately went to a window. As we stood in front of the immigration officer’s window I could smell alcohol. It was then that immigration officer smiled at us and said, “Whiskey! Someone smash bottle on floor!”. I looked down to discover than there was a pool of whiskey on the floor that I and my carry-on bag were both in. Matt thought it was a fantastic way to go to the orphanage---smelling of alcohol!

We cleared immigration and exchanged $100 U.S. for birr and went to retrieve our luggage. We were assisted by a large man, despite our protests, who lifted two of our bags off the carousel and the demanded “tip!”. After getting our bags and shooing the man away we went through one more round of baggage screening before exiting.

A small crowd stood, waiting to meet people as they arrived. We scanned the group of people but couldn’t find anyone holding a sign for us. A gentleman approached us and introduced himself. He was from Gladney. He asked which agency we were with and told me he hadn’t seen Sintayehu and if we couldn’t find him to let him know and he would help us out. Matt spotted a drink stand and went to purchase water. I waited for the two other families to get their luggage and clear the screening. Matt returned with Sintayehu. I was relieved.

We loaded our suitcases and ourselves into two vehicles. We went directly to Sintayehu’s office to complete embassy paperwork. Sintayehu’s office is a short drive from the airport and sits on a busy street. We passed many people milling about on the road. Some were sleeping, others were walking from one place to another.

We arrived at Sintayehu’s office and each family went one at a time upstairs to meet with Sintayehu. We paid the $400 visa fee and discussed the three questions we would be asked at the embassy. The process took 15 minutes total for all three families and we loaded back into the cars when we were finished and drove 10 minutes to the YGF Guest Hotel. Sintayehu showed us to our rooms and to the dining room where the staff was waiting to serve us lunch. Sintayehu said we would be able to go and see our children at Toukoul around 4 p.m.

We all had lunch together. We met the cook and Aster, who runs the guest house. We discussed what we would like to do for the week. After lunch, we all went to our rooms and unpacked and prepared to go an meet our children. After I finished preparing our backpack with toys for Oliver, I sat on our balcony at the guest house and waited for Wendy our driver to come and pick us up. It was a beautiful, warm day.

Meeting Oliver--

The drive to Toukoul is not too far from the guest house. The orphanage sits off a busy road to the right down a dirt road. On the left side, men mill about outside a meat market and on the right side of the road men cut stone by hand for a building being erected. Toukoul sits past the meat market on the left side of the road. A blind man sat with his cane outside the entrance. Wendy honked the horn at the blue gates and they opened. We pulled in and we could hear children from inside the buildings. The nannies were changing shifts and people were coming and going. We exited the car and saw 5 small toddlers, dressed in footed pjs banging on the glass from inside the clinic building smiling at us. We were ushered to the family room where we waited for what seemed to be an eternity for our children.

We nervously unpacked our camera and recorder and waited. Time stretched. Then, Jennifer announced she could see them. By the time I made it to the door the nannies were in the doorway holding two small boys and one little girl. I spotted Oliver even though his back was to me. His nanny handed Abdulhakim to me as she announced him. He was so small and so beautiful. I couldn’t stop smiling. Wendy grabbed our recorder and started taping our first encounter with Oliver Henry Abdulhakim. Oliver looked at me and his Daddy with his big eyes and smiled.

For the next two hours we sat on the tan couches lining the room and played with our children. They all were so settled and laid back. We counted all of Oliver’s toes and changed his wet diaper. Oliver loved to chew his hand or ours and we got lots of smiles and giggles.

At 6 p.m. Wendy arrived and the nannies returned to collect the children. We kissed Oliver and watched his nanny carry him away.

We drove back to the guest house on cloud 9. We had dinner when we returned to the guest house and afterwards we were all spent so we called it a day. Matt and I loaded our photos on the laptop and we glanced through them until we could no longer keep our eyes open. We turned out the lights and called it a night.

Dubai

2010-01-02T13:04:00.003-05:00

We slept through the night and woke about 8:20 a.m. We had seen a couple of people in the lobby carrying Marks* & Spe*ncer’s bags and we asked the concierge for the location of the local M&S. He ordered us a taxi which took us to the M&S. It was 10 a.m. and the shops had just opened and they were empty. Our sole purpose of going to M&S was for the food shops (Matt needed a British food fix) but it was small and disappointing. We left the store and walked across the street to the Reef Mall. We walked the mall and had coffee before we caught a taxi to the Gold Souq.

The Gold Souq was way busier than the shops. Matt and I surmised that the Emiratis must wake late since we had already been told that they dine late in the evening. We walked the Gold Souq and had a barrage of men try to sell us knock-off watches and handbags in the side alleys of the souq. Matt tried hard to get me to find something I liked but I couldn’t. I wanted a gold coin or figure but we couldn’t find anything that fit the bill. I did try on one gold and turquoise bracelet but I knew it wouldn’t be an item that I would wear often.

After the souq we took a taxi to the Emirates Mall. It is a large and impressive place. Maserati’s & Ferrari’s lined the front entrance. We visited the shops, saw the indoor ski resort and got a bite to eat for lunch. The mall started to get more crowded late in the afternoon so we left, taking a taxi back to the hotel.

Our hotel room was being cleaned when we arrived back so we headed to the pool side cabana for a drink and sat in one of the Bedouin tents. Emirates planes kept flying overhead and we could hear the call to prayer from a nearby mosque.

We went back to the room for a rest. Matt slept and I watched TV and read my book on Ethiopian culture and history.

For dinner we went to Shahrzad Restaurant in the hotel for Iranian food. The food was great. There was live entertainment which would have been entertaining if she didn’t keep interrupting the song to apologize for her sore throat!

After dinner we called Chloe in NJ and got to speak to her. It sounded like all was well. We kept thinking of her all day as we knew we would have to return to Dubai for a family vacation in the next couple of years. Dubai has all Chloe would want in a place---sunshine, beaches, swimming and skiing! They even have a Dun*kin Donuts. All she could ever want!

TOMORROW IS OLIVER DAY!!! WE ARE VERY EXCITED!

Arriving in Dubai

2010-01-01T13:03:00.002-05:00

We spent New Year’s on the airplane flying to Dubai. Shortly after we took off, the pilot announced that it was New Year. Matt was already asleep and there was no fanfare.

We took off in the dark from NYC and landed in the dark at Dubai. It felt odd to have “lost” and entire day. We had literally almost flown half way around the world.

After we caught a taxi to the Hyatt Regency and checked into our room, we showered and went to the hotel restaurant for something light to eat. We had pizza and had some leftovers. Apparently it is bad form to carry leftovers from the restaurant so the waitress told us room service would bring it up to our room for us.

We returned to the room and after our room service leftovers arrived we called it a night. We went to sleep around midnight quite easily.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

2009-12-31T12:59:00.011-05:00

**I couldn't post/upload photos in Ethiopia, so I have gone back through and listed each post on the day it was written (in other words it is post-dated).**

Shannon’s Mom & Dad flew back to Dallas this morning. In the afternoon we finished packing and ran some last minute errands for a backpack we could use as a diaper bag. We left the house around 6 p.m. and went to eat dinner. Chloe was tired from the day and slept through dinner. She woke to say goodbye to us at JFK and I cried saying goodbye to her.

We checked into our flight on Emir*ates. Our flight was schedule to take off at 11:00 p.m. but we sat waiting for the de-icing trucks for 45 minutes. The flight to Dubai was nice. Our travel agent had booked the bulk head seats like we were traveling with Oliver already so we had plenty of leg room in economy. Matt slept for some 5 hours. I slept off and on for about 3 hours and I managed to watch 3 movies. Time seemed to go quickly for a 12.5 hour flight.

We landed 15 minutes behind schedule at 8:45 p.m. (Dubai time). Most people on our flight were using Dubai as a hub to other destinations so we got through customs and got our luggage quickly. The airport is amazing and new. Lights danced and flashed on the marble and against the palm trees. It was impressive.

We then caught a taxi to our hotel—the Hyatt Regency.

Leaving Today

2009-12-31T11:39:00.000-05:00

We leave tonight for Dubai. We will arrive tomorrow in Dubai, stay two nights and then go to Ethiopia on Sunday to meet Oliver. We are packed and ready to go.

I don't know about internet connection but we will try our best to post from Addis Ababa. I am bringing a journal along to document the days.

Less Than Two Weeks to Take-Off

2009-12-18T08:20:00.002-05:00

Two weeks from today I will be on an airplane headed for Dubai. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with all that I still have to accomplish. But, as my husband reassured me last night, it will all get done and we will be with Oliver soon. Most of the stress comes from the work we have been having done on the house. Our house has been rearranged and taken apart so many times in the last few months I am a little tired of it all.

Our floors were refinished this week and I was blocked from our basement and laundry room. I managed to gather together Oliver's clothing that we will take but still have to wash it. I am just pleased that the big work is done on the house and I don't have to keep putting our house back together and I can concentrate on putting together Oliver's room.

Tonight we're FINALLY breaking out the indoor Christmas decorations. The finish on the wood floors will be set and we can put up the tree without fear of destroying the floor. We had to break the news to Chloe that we weren't getting a real tree this year. We just don't want to have to deal with the needles on the floor and our 6-month old puppy trying to eat the tree or drink the water from the base.

We've got a long list to accomplish this weekend. I am now on the search for a diaper changer (we never got one for Chloe and I am not changing diapers this time around on the floor or beds). I took Matt to BrU, but he didn't like any of the diaper changers there (I know, I know, its a diaper changer for goodness sake).

I just keep repeating...It's all going to get done.

A Whirlwind of Activity

2009-12-11T13:14:00.006-05:00

Our lives have become a whirlwind of activity since finding out our travel dates. We had our embassy document conference call yesterday with our agency and went over all the paperwork we have to complete and get back to our agency ASAP. It has to be at the U.S. Embassy in Addis Ababa next week. I am sending it via F*ed* E*x tomorrow morning. It took me 3 hours to get Tur*bo T*ax to open up our 2006 taxes so I could get our Adjusted Gross Income for that year (the past 3 years are needed for a U.S. Embassy document). It was such a saga and I was completely worn out and grouchy last night from the experience.

The interior of our house is painted. I have been putting the furniture back in order and trying to figure out where the pictures and paintings were all hung. Chloe says it looks like we just moved in our house and she's right. It's pretty much a disaster. Our wood floors will finally get restained/repaired next week and I can concentrate on Oliver's room and putting up some Christmas decorations inside the house. A tree would be nice at this point too.

I am so thankful that my parents, sister and brother-in-law will be here for the holidays to help us get ready and to calm me down. My sister is staying on to keep Chloe and the dogs while we are in Ethiopia. She will also stay a short while after we return home with Oliver. My friends have organized meals for us on our return, much to my disapproval---I hate to ask for help or anything. Its very nice of them and will be appreciated.

I made Oliver's pediatrician appointment yesterday. He goes to the doctor for his checkup the Tuesday after we get back. My sister will still be here at that time to help.

I am trying to figure out what to take to Ethiopia. My friend who traveled to Africa a few years ago told me the people would ask for sneakers and American t-shirts. I don't think I am going to be handing out sneakers in Addis Ababa but I'm gathering some shirts with NYC area logos and teams and my friends are too. I am also trying to figure out what donations I will take for the orphanage. I have to put a call into our agency to find out what is needed. When we went to China we donated a crate of formula we purchased in town while visiting the orphanage. I am trying to find out if we can do the same in Ethiopia.

I had a complete spaz out today because I couldn't get our travel agency to call me back and book our flights and hotel which were on hold. I emailed our travel agent yesterday afternoon to tell them what we decided on our travel plans and that we wanted to book a.s.a.p. I never heard back yesterday (and they are 3 hours behind us on the west coast). I thought for certain they would call me by noon today because our flights were on hold until 1 p.m. today. When I still hadn't heard from them I called and left a message for our agent to call us so we could book. Three hours passed and not a word. I called back and left a message and then sent an email just to get my point across. Another hour passed. Just as I started to call another travel agency, the phone rang. It's all worked out and we our flights are booked. I just got the confirmation.

Our travel plans are to leave on December 31 and fly to Dubai. We want to see Dubai, so we opted to spend two nights before we leave for Ethiopia on Sunday, January 3. We should see Oliver that day! We then spend the week in Ethiopia before we fly out on Friday, January 8. We are unsure when our U.S. Embassy appointment will be right now because January 7th is Ethiopian Orthodox Christmas. What a great time to be in country! We're back home on January 9th. That gives us a whole weekend at home with Chloe and Oliver.

TRAVEL DATES (and freaking out a little bit)

2009-12-09T14:38:00.002-05:00

We have travel dates!!!! We are to be in Ethiopia on January 3rd!! That's right---in less than one month. I think I have to call a travel agent now as ticket prices are 2-3 times what we thought it would cost.

SO EXCITED!!

It's Official

2009-12-04T20:37:00.001-05:00

We got the information via email from our agency director. Tonight was the tree lighting in our town. I took Chloe to Chinese school, which is in our downtown, and then we met Matt at a restaurant. Downtown for the Holidays is a big deal in our village and everybody comes out for it so we meet and see lots of friends and neighbors. Also, my cell phone reception in our downtown is sketchy. Apparently our agency director tried to call me but I didn't receive it or hear it. Right before the countdown for the tree lighting I pulled out my cell phone to use it to take a photo. That's when I saw the email response to "RE: Court News?" from our agency director. I opened and saw the word "ratified" and gave Matt a big kiss and shared the news.

I didn't speak with our agency because it was 7:30 p.m. EST so I don't know any details. From what I gather, our agency only knows we were ratified and does not know the date. I expect we will get lots more information next week. Right now we are just excited about the good news.

Should Hear Something Today

2009-12-04T08:18:00.004-05:00

We expect to get some news from our agency today. We did not hear from them yesterday so I assume that means that our case did not get heard in court. We were told not to write yesterday down on our calendar as our new court date. The attorney was unsure what would transpire.

I should probably hear word late this afternoon (EST) on when our court date is rescheduled. I'm really hoping for next week, not a month later.

Its a busy day today, which is a good thing. I will be the taxi driver for the day, taking the puppy to obedience school, Chloe to/from school and then to Chinese school this afternoon. At least it will keep me away from obsessing over the computer and phone all day.

On a sweet, side note: We haven't relayed any of the delays to Chloe. She wouldn't understand, so we haven't shared our disappointment and frustration with her. Yesterday when we were playing in the basement, she randomly went to look at Oliver's picture, kissed it and said, "Please come home soon little brother." It was sweet. Now that I look back though I think it was more of a prayer that another child come into our home. I think she is beginning to believe I am no fun to play with!

Kreativ Blog Award

2009-12-03T18:52:00.008-05:00

I've been tagged for the Kreativ Blogger award. These are the blog award “rules.”

I. Thank the person who awarded me the award, and link that person’s blog on my blog. Thanks Jennifer. Now I have to think of 7 things about myself and 7 other bloggers to tag!

II. Identify seven things about myself:

I taught History in middle school for 7 years. I left to be a stay-at-home mom to Chloe.
I've been married for 11 years to Matt. We got engaged in Vienna, Austria on Valentine's Day.
I'm a serial volunteer/organizer. Last year I served on the Board of Director's for 3 organizations, this year I serve on two. Chloe drew a picture of her family last year at pre-school and it was of just she and her dad. When she was asked where her mom was in the picture she replied, "She's in a meeting." I'm excited to report that I will be taking a break from volunteering next year to concentrate on family.
I live in New Jersey, but I am a native Texan.
I'm opinionated and bossy. Apparently this is a learned trait as my daughter is very much like me.
I like living on the east coast and have no desire to move back to the south again. I live just outside the greatest city in the U.S. so there is so much to do. I don't mind the winters (we like to ski), it's the spring I can't stand.
We own an RV and like to go camping.

III. Award seven bloggers with the “Kreativ Blogger Award,” post links to their blogs, and leave a comment on each of their blogs, to let them know of the honor.

I'm going to give this a shot, but am only naming 4 bloggers.

1. Ang-she is waiting on her court hearing to ratify the adoption of her son and daughter. She is my fellow east-coaster with our agency.

2. Sarri-also with our agency and getting ready to send in their dossier to Ethiopia. I wish you all the best on your journey--I hope its a smooth ride!

3. Diana-she really is a Kreativ Blogger, so creative! Diana designed my A Family United blog and this blog for Oliver. She adopted her daughter from China in 2006. I always enjoy reading her posts.

4. Rachel--another creative mommy blogger her crafts and sewing put me to shame. I love to check in on their Ethiopian adoption progress, they are also adopting from Toukoul but with a different agency.

In Limbo but Relieved to Have Some News

2009-12-02T13:07:00.004-05:00

I heard from our agency director just a little while ago. She spoke with the attorney in Ethiopia. It seems that MoWA has had meetings and that the paperwork they need to submit to go into Oliver's file wasn't there. It seems to be widespread for all the court cases this week. Realizing they now have a backlog, MoWA is going to try to play catch-up in the courts and get the missing paperwork submitted and the cases heard asap.

Our attorney in Ethiopia is being called in tomorrow before the judge who has Oliver's file. He believes it is to hear our court case. The attorney was at his home when he spoke with our director so he didn't have his files in front of him. Oliver's Ethiopian name is not a typical name, so he could recall that he received a court summons about Oliver. We were told not to rely too much on our case being heard tomorrow and that with the backlog, we should know more Friday as to whether we got heard or if we have been rescheduled to a later date.

Though we continue to wait, at least we know why we have the delay.

Still Nothing & New Updated Photos

2009-12-01T16:47:00.003-05:00

We still have no word on whether we passed court or not. Apparently the phone line is so bad that it cannot be confirmed which families passed court. An email was supposed to be sent today but it still hasn't arrived. This isn't encouraging. The pessimist in me says it means we didn't pass and gear myself up to wait again for court.

But, congratulations to the other family with our agency who had their court date today and passed--that's great news!

The email from Toukoul works and we received updated photos of Oliver today. He changes so much each update. We also found out he has chicken pox, so that was a little upsetting.

I'm emotionally spent today.

No News

2009-11-30T17:18:00.002-05:00

We don't know the outcome of court today (or if our case was even heard). Our agency called this afternoon to let us know they couldn't find out the status of our court case from the attorney. We expect to find out tomorrow. Praying for good news tomorrow!

7 More Days

2009-11-23T21:04:00.001-05:00

One week until our court date. I am beginning to get nervous--wondering if all our paperwork is together and nothing is missing. Hoping it all works out in our favor on November 30th.

Two Weeks to Go!

2009-11-16T13:26:00.004-05:00

Two more weeks until our court date! I have been busy Christmas shopping because I know IF we pass court on November 30, that my mind will become consumed with planning and packing for Ethiopia. I am proud to report that as of today my Christmas shopping is done! I have to start mailing packages out next week to our family in Europe. I just have to wait on the arrival of our Christmas cards which I ordered last week. I am so excited to know that this is out of the way and I can concentrate on preparing for our trip to Ethiopia.

Lately, I have been going over and researching formula, baby food, baby items we still need and even diapers. Its been 4 years since we have had an infant and when Chloe came home at 11 months we had in our minds that 11 months was pretty old and we didn't buy "baby" items. Hindsight is 20/20 and I realize now that Chloe was very much a baby. One example is we bought the Bri*tax Marath*on car seat. Eventhough we faced it rear seating, the thing swallowed her. She looked so tiny in it. In fact, 4 years later, she is still in this seat (front facing now, of course). We had thought to use the same convertible car seat for Oliver but a friend with three daughters has since brought to my attention that I should probably check into getting an infant car seat. Her oldest is in many of the same activities as Chloe and she told me her infant car seat has been great since she spends most of her day going back and forth to elementary school, pre-school and after-school activities. Her 9-month old stays snug and fastened in and if she is napping, she doesn't have to wake her up. We never considered the infant car seat for Chloe because we had in our minds that she would be too big and too old. I am rethinking it for Oliver. I am back and forth all day carting Chloe to kindergarten enrichment, to school, dance, Chinese school, etc. I'm beginning to think this will be a buy on the baby items list.

The other thing I am debating about is diapers. I am starting to feel that I should consider a greener option for diapering Oliver. I've researched these diapers and don't know if I should take the plunge and give them a go. I'm seriously afraid of mid-day blowouts. Maybe I am more reluctant because I've already gone through the diaper-testing with Chloe, I know which brand of disposable diapers I like and they worked for us really well. Maybe if I had used cloth with Chloe I wouldn't be afraid. But, I didn't and this is new territory. Still considering this one.

I haven't begun to research formulas. I know what we used with Chloe, she's healthy and happy, so I will probably reach for it when it comes time to choose. That is unless our pediatrician recommends something else. As for baby food (oh, yea, I researched that too) I have made a decision to feed Oliver organic baby food. I just believe in organic foods, especially for my child---let me just jump on my soapbox and clarify that I believe in REAL organic food, not the organic food owned by the giant conglomeration that opens a window in a over-crowded holding pen and declares their cows are organic. I'm talking real organic, like most people imagine it to be, not loophole organic products. Ideally, I would like to take my organic produce that I get delivered and make baby food, but with an older child, I know this probably isn't going to happen as much as I would like so going for this brand of baby food will ease my conscience a bit. They also give back to the community, and that's a good thing.

So, as we approach our court date, I seem to have all of this figured out, somewhat. Guess I should finally start on the biggest task, getting Oliver's room ready!

Update!

2009-11-10T18:16:00.003-05:00

We got our much anticipated update on Oliver this afternoon. We received two photos of Oliver and a health update. He's doing well. He looks so different in his photo and he is smiling! He's 13 lbs. 10 oz. at 4 months old.

1 Month Ago Today

2009-11-09T17:41:00.002-05:00

we got our referral for Oliver! We only received one photo with our referral so I am hoping that we get 3 more photos this week!! Can't wait to see more pictures of our little guy!

Today also marks 3 weeks until our court date (November 30).

Ethiopian Culture #2

2009-11-01T09:55:00.002-05:00

I found a great article on-line on the Ethiopian coffee ceremony, which we hope to participate in while we are there.

I also learned that the popcorn that everyone refers to in the ceremony is not the popcorn we know but sorghum.

WE HAVE A COURT DATE!!!

2009-10-31T14:54:00.003-04:00

Happy Halloween everyone! We have a court date---November 30, 2009!! I just checked my email and there was the message from Tami, sent today! So excited.

Ethiopian Culture

2009-10-26T13:30:00.000-04:00

I love to travel and I love to learn about different cultures. I am very much looking forward to our journey to Ethiopia and especially meeting our son.

I have read all the obligatory books on adopting from Africa and Ethiopia. I am now focusing my attention on books and media on Ethiopian culture. We have TiVO* and while still in the paperchasing phase of the adoption I entered the keyword "Ethiopia" into TiVO* to have it search for shows on tv relating to the keyword topic. TiVO* found several shows but two were useful.

As strange as it sounds, Biz*arre* Fo*ods* with A*ndrew* Zi*mmern* was very informative. Of course, you get to see some of the wilder food choices in Ethiopia but the footage of the Mercato in Addis Ababa, Harar and other areas was great. They also showed a coffee ceremony and explained the process and the purpose of some of the foods involved.

Our favorite was the Globe* Trekk*er TV show on Ethiopia. We enjoyed it so much, I went to our local library to check out the DVD series on Eastern Africa, which includes the Ethiopia show.

I am also reading a fiction book set in Ethiopia--

I haven't finished the book yet but I am enjoying it. Through the fictional story of two brothers, both surgeons, the book tells the historical and cultural story of Ethiopia.

Weighing Our Options

2009-10-25T21:15:00.000-04:00

Matt and I have been looking at our options for traveling to Ethiopia. We have decided on two options (and possibly a third):

British* Airways from JFK to London, overnight in London and then on to Addis Ababa. Matt is English, so this is an easy option. The only problem with BA is that their flights into Addis Ababa arrive around 2 a.m.

Emirates*from JFK to Dubai, overnight in Dubai and then on to Addis Ababa. We like the fact that it breaks the long flight up and we have always wanted to visit Dubai.

We haven't really looked at the KLM* flights through Amsterdam, but I think that option is a distant third. All options are great airlines, it will probably come down to scheduling and pricing (which means Emirates* will win out).

Cyber-Stalking Court Dates

2009-10-22T14:11:00.000-04:00

I thought completing all these house projects would keep me busy and my mind off the constant wait that accompanies international adoption. Instead, the carpenter, the carpet installers and others seem to have taken over my house and I am relegated to one room in my house whiling away the day herding dogs out of the way of the workers and spending time on my laptop reading news and adoption blogs in between taking Chloe to her activities. I just want the work to be done now so I can do laundry and clean up the mess of boxes and books dispossessed during the work (never thought I would say I wanted to do either of those things).

So, while I sit here watching the carpenter come in and out, saw and hammer, I search for court dates. I just read that a family that received their referral one month before us received their court date in early November today. Another family, who received their referral two weeks before us got a court date this week of the 2nd of November (that's earlier than the other family who got their referral before them). Point is, November court dates are being scheduled for people who received their referrals in September. That's good news.

And Now that We Have Our Referral, What's Next?

2009-10-12T08:21:00.000-04:00

We spoke with our agency last Wednesday and discussed what comes next. In Ethiopia our dossier is being translated and placed with Oliver's file to be presented to the Ethiopian government along with medical tests that must be completed in order to bring Oliver home.

For us, we do little on the adoption front but wait for our court date. In Ethiopian adoption, a court date will be scheduled where our file and Oliver's file will be presented by an attorney, hired by our agency, who will represent us. The court declares the adoption legal and in Ethiopia we will officially be Oliver's parents. When we travel to Ethiopia to pick up Oliver we must complete the U.S. portion of the international adoption in order to have the U.S. allow Oliver admittance and recognize the adoption.

Life seems to be full ahead as we wait for our court date (we should know the date it is scheduled in a couple of weeks if not sooner). It seems unlikely we will have a November court date so I am hoping for a early December court date. In the meantime, Chloe and I went to Build-A-Bear* and Chloe picked out a bear, put in Brahm's lullaby and gave it life for her little brother to enjoy when he arrives home. I thought it was something she could do to make the adoption real for her.

Celebrating our Referral

2009-10-12T08:02:00.000-04:00

Sorry, the photos were taken on my iPhone* so they aren't the best.

Matt was supposed to work late on Friday so we didn't expect him home for dinner. Of course, when we received "the call", he shared the good news with his co-workers and shot out the door.

Chloe had Chinese* school on Friday afternoon so I took her to art and dance. The school is an ad hoc school run by parents with children adopted from China and the NYC Chinese Cultural Center. I told Chloe she could share our good news with everyone at school. After class was over I went into the room with the other mothers and asked Chloe if she wanted to share her big news.

She started jumping up and down and yelled out with much excitement, "Barak Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize"!

WHAT?!

"No, that's the President's big news--what's your big news?" I asked.

"Oh, we got our referral for my brother in Eth-ee-pee-o-ha," she said non-chalantly, upset no one else shared her joy on the President's prize. I don't think its sunk in yet with her.

To celebrate our referral we went to eat Ethiopian food at Lalibela* Restaurant in S. Orange*, NJ. This was our first time having Ethiopian food and our waiter, Austin, was very helpful. The table of four adults next to us was so impressed that Chloe tried and ate the Ethiopian food---that's our girl.

We spent the rest of the weekend sharing the good news with friends, staring at the one photo we have of Oliver and kicking the house projects into high gear.

We will speak further with our agency this week or next and find out what's the next step in bringing home Oliver.

WE HAVE A SON!!!!

2009-10-09T16:15:00.000-04:00

We got the call from Tami at 3:54 p.m. today that we have a son!! I was caught completely off guard. I almost didn't answer the phone as Chloe and I were playing Le*go Star*Wars on the Wii*!! Glad I picked up the phone!! Tami asked if I was having a good day and I told her I was pretty sure I was going to have a great one now! After Tami double-checked our email address to send the report and photo I asked her to send it to Matt---I then couldn't remember his email address I was so excited.

Until Oliver is officially declared our son by the Ethiopian courts we cannot post any identifying information.

Matt is on his way home and we are going for Ethiopian food tonight to celebrate.I know there are other referrals for our agency today so I am eager to hear all about them!!

160 Days Waiting

2009-10-05T22:47:00.000-04:00

160 days can be converted to one of these units:
13,824,000 seconds
230,400 minutes
3840 hours
22 weeks (rounded down)

The time and date website is probably my most visited site on the internet. I use it to number crunch and speculate the date of our referral. When I see someone post their referral news, I go to the date/time calculator and calculate their wait time. Why I do this I don't know. Its not helping me in the wait---especially when the wait times are shorter than ours. {SIGH}

It also seems that the Ethiopia courts did not reopen this week as expected. Word on the rumor mill is that they are to open sometime the week of October 18th. People that were given court dates for the expected reopening of the court have been rescheduled to that week. Our agency told us that they didn't expect a backlog of court cases after the reopening, but they told us that that before the courts didn't open as expected. {SIGH}

In my number crunching tonight, I came to the realization that our winter break vacation we scheduled all so many, many months ago is going to have to be rescheduled. We made plans to escape the Northeast winter and head to Costa Rica in February. IF we get our referral in the next month I predict we will travel to Ethiopia in January 2010, not giving us enough time to either get a visa for Oliver to go to Costa Rica or get his green card and certainly not his certificate of U.S. citizenship and U.S. passport. I haven't rescheduled anything yet, just taking it one day at a time and checking the calendar for the school break date in March or April. {SIGH}

By November 1st?

2009-09-30T18:35:00.001-04:00

We signed up to give the altar flowers at church on Sunday, November 1. We're hoping to get some Divine Intervention and have our referral before that date. We would like to dedicate the flowers to Oliver as our church announcement of our referral.

Many months ago we signed up to give the altar flowers on September 19th thinking we would have our referral. Didn't work out that way. We dedicated the flowers to my father and for his health-- he had a heart attack the week before (and doing very well now after two stints). So, I am praying for good news to share at church on November 1 and not a family health scare.

5 months Waiting

2009-09-28T10:18:00.000-04:00

I have to admit that I broke down and contacted our agency last week. I wanted to know their take on the "scandal", the exact dates the Ethiopian courts reopen (opening this week) and if there would be a backlog and how much longer we had to wait.

The response back was very nice and put me to ease. We were told that though they don't know where a family stands in the referral process that they didn't expect that we would have a longer wait than expected---the average wait is still 4-6 months. In other words, we should be getting our referral in the next month. I hope they are right!!!

Radio Show: Adopting from Africa

2009-09-25T16:57:00.000-04:00

Adopting from Africa was the topic of Creating a Family radio show this week. You can listen by clicking this link. There is mention/discussion of the recent Australia*n tv expose on Ethiopia adoption.

Synopsis: This week’s Creating a Family radio show (Wed., Sept. 23) will be on Adopting from Africa. We’ll be talking about what countries in Africa are open for international adoptions? How stable are the adoption programs in these countries? How do you adopt from Africa? Can you adopt independently from a country that doesn’t have an active adoption program. My guests for this show are representatives from three adoption agencies with long standing programs in various African countries: Wide Horizons for Children, Holt International, and Adoption Advocates International.

What to do While Waiting...

2009-09-16T11:59:00.001-04:00

One year ago today we were in the process of starting our Ethiopian adoption. On this day one year ago we had our second home study interview. I thought about all the things we've done regarding this adoption since we started. Here's my list (in no particular order):

Got a puppy, Flash--puppies are hard work!! A puppy and a baby--what were we thinking?

Plan & host a cocktail party for 60 people the night after our 2nd home study interview. The tents for our yard were being set up and the crew kept ringing the doorbell to ask questions in the middle of our home study. It wasn't stressful at all!

Feel smug because this is the third time you have gone through this process. Of course, smugness comes to abrupt end when you realize that Ethiopia's process is nothing like the process for adopting from China.
Naively think that this wait will be easy. We waited 7 months for Chloe's referral in 2005 and are still waiting for our 2nd referral from China (Oct. 2006 LID). How hard could a 4-6 month wait be? Ha! Ha!
Have your oldest (and only) child start kindergarten and realize that you thought you would be pushing a stroller with two younger siblings in it as you walk her to school.
Gather information and dates of all recent referrals and times waited. Create a spreadsheet and timeline for possible referral dates. Get upset when we pass the "average wait time" calculated. Sigh.
Program a special ring tone for the adoption agency.
Scour the Internet for every blog that has anything to do with Ethiopia, especially one's with recent referrals and travel.
Read There is No Me Without You, Lonely Planets: Guide to Ethiopia, From Ashes to Africa, Love in the Driest Season and I'm Chocolate and Your Vanilla. Also reading a myriad of other books on international adoption.
Get interviewed by a local newspaper for a feature article on what to expect when you are expecting to adopt internationally. Tell our stories, give advice and try to act like we are above it all and are seasoned veterans who can avoid the snares and pitfalls of international adoption. During interview get interrupted no less than 15 times by dogs, doorbell, package delivery and refereeing Chloe's play date.
Compare recent referrals for other agencies and second-guess our decision as some agency wait times decrease.

In all seriousness and in light of recent news reports that are running through the boards like wildfire, choosing a reputable, licensed agency with a track-record you can investigate is more important than choosing an agency based on wait times or the pretty catalogs of children and materials.

Let the Projects Begin

2009-09-08T09:28:00.000-04:00

Its time to make this adoption "REAL" and start decorating and getting the house in shape. Since Chloe is back in school and we have family coming for the holidays, there is no time like the present.

I placed the order for Oliver's bedding last week from P*B*K and for a darling tented shelf unit from Land* of Nod*. I also have my eye on a red dresser that I will purchase in the next month or so. Matt and Chloe are going to pick the wall colors and paint Oliver's room together!

We are also making plans to baby-proof the house and have some built-ins done in the playroom for toy storage. We are having a built-in entertainment system put in with shelves for toy storage and books. I want to buy baskets to put some of Chloe's toys in, one's we want to keep out of reach of Oliver.

We are also re-doing our book shelves in our formal living area. Right now they are crammed full of books and board games and we hope to clear it out and de-clutter. We will also re-tile the hearth around our fireplace. I've only had the tiles for a few months now, so getting that project out of the way will feel good.

I am really excited about getting all this done. Doing it now gives me the time to clear out and organize before Oliver's arrival (it also gives me something to concentrate on instead of constantly wondering when we will get our referral).

Work should begin the end of this month and be done by the first or second week in October. I'll post photos of Oliver's finished room on this blog and of our other projects on the family blog when all is underway and complete.

In the Window...

2009-08-28T07:36:00.000-04:00

Our referral should be coming in the next two months! In the meantime I am keeping myself busy enjoying our last few days of summer before Chloe starts kindergarten.

I've Hit the Wall

2009-08-10T13:11:00.000-04:00

Both Matt and I came crashing into the waiting wall this weekend. We both looked at each other and wondered aloud, "When will we get Oliver's referral?". The answer: who knows?

We've been waiting nearly 34 months for a referral from China. We are aware how long the wait can go. With China, we are resigned to the fact that we can tick off progress, no matter how slow, each month with the arrival of referrals. But with Ethiopia? We know nothing. We have nothing to go on except for the timeframe our agency gave us. Its better than nothing.

For us, the waiting game always seems the same. At first, you are excited, eager with anticipation, looking forward to referral day. Then, as time goes by, you become discouraged and time seems to move slowly. The next phase is the worst, feeling like it is never going to happen, something is wrong with your dossier, they don't like you, etc. It's the rollercoaster of emotion and wondering. It then seems the next step is the numbness. You step back, reassess and guard your heart. Then you repeat the process until the referral comes.

Right now, I am in the pity party stage. I'm comparing our wait to others, searching for blogs of those who adopted recently, adding up how long they waited. It's not comforting, some waits are a few weeks and some are months and months. They are all over the place.

In the meantime, in order to avoid the full-blown pity party, I am keeping myself as busy as possible. Chloe starts kindergarten in three weeks and we are enjoying our last few weeks of summer. The new puppy, Flash, is also keeping us busy. He's a handful. My father is coming up for a week to spend some time with us since he couldn't come when my mother and sister visited because of the growing season.

I'm hoping this new stage of waiting will end soon with a referral.

Court Closure

2009-08-05T13:34:00.000-04:00

Word on the street has it that the Ethiopian courts will close from August 21st to October 6th. Considering that our timeframe for referral, 4-6 months from DTE, falls right during the closure, it seems likely that our referral will come during the closure. Right now, I am predicting that our court date will be in November and our travel will be late November or December.

Another Month Down

2009-07-28T11:03:00.000-04:00

We are getting closer to the referral window our agency gave us (between 4-6 months).

Update on Closures

2009-07-26T14:08:00.001-04:00

Our agency sent us the information that the courts in Ethiopia will be closing for the rainy season on August 21 and will reopen during the first week in October. The most likely scenario is that we will be delayed by the court closure, that is IF we get our referral before the first week in October. If that is the case, we are looking at travel in November or December. Right now, my wish is to travel in 2009 and that we don't have to wait until the new year to travel.

In the meantime, I have called our insurance company to discover, and it is no surprise, that travel vaccinations are not covered. With that knowledge I don't have to get our general practioner to order the vaccinations and can go to the travel clinic at our local hospital and start the shots asap.

Oliver's 1st Gift

2009-07-17T15:08:00.001-04:00

My friend Johanna and her family sent a surprise gift for Oliver this week. It is the first present we have received for Oliver and it is even more special because Johanna, the thoughtful, organized and on the ball person that she is, was the first person to send a present when we were waiting for Chloe.

Thank you Johanna and family. You made our day!

No Court Closings?

2009-07-14T13:09:00.000-04:00

Ninety-nine percent of the information we have learned and receive on Ethiopian adoption has come from our Ethiopian adoption agency. The other 1% has come from reading other people's blogs on their adoption story and process and usually that is just limited to their own personal experience.

Last night, though, I read an Ethiopian adoption blog that had word that the Ethiopian courts would remain open during the rainy season instead of taking the customary two month hiatus. What does that mean? If the courts remain open, then adoption cases will be heard during August and September, and people won't have to wait an extra two months for the courts to reopen in October before their case can be heard. In the past, people have had to wait for the courts to reopen after the rainy season to have their adoption case heard and approved. Its after the approval that you officially become the parent(s) and can then make arrangements to travel to Ethiopia.

Our agency has not confirmed this to be the case. But doing a quick Goo*gle search this morning I came across a blog which is the motherload of information/rumors for Ethiopian adoptions. This blog was began in May as a resource for those adoptive parents who were affected by the shut-down of the courts in hearing cases of abandoned children in Addis Ababa. Its a good resource to know about and I am glad I found it.

If this latest news is a fact and not a rumor then it should impact us if we get our referral in the next month or two as it means our case will get heard during the time the courts would have been closed for the rainy season. In other words, we would travel sooner rather than later.

2 Months Down

2009-06-28T09:44:00.000-04:00

Official Start of the Summer & Waiting

2009-06-12T08:44:00.000-04:00

Chloe is finished with pre-school yesterday---it's the official start of summer at our home. Our first couple of weeks are filled with guests, that's a great thing about living in such close proximity to NYC, lots of company. We then have a swim camp and a summer camp. Our summer is pretty full so we shouldn't be bored. We have plenty to do. I don't wish for summer to speed by and for fall and the start of school to come, but I am hoping that the waiting for Oliver will go by quickly.

I know from experience that the waiting game is hard, but I also know that once we get the referral and see Oliver's photo that the wait to actually travel and see him in person is even harder. As the rainy season approaches in Ethiopia, if we get our referral within the given timeframes, I know that the government shut-down that occurs will lengthen our wait to meet Oliver. I look back over our paperchase and think, "I could have done that more quickly to avoid the rainy season."

And again, we know from experience that it will all fall into place and it all happens in good time and that it all happens at a certain time for a certain reason and the child that will be referred to us was destined to be our Oliver.

Yes, but then again, it's just hard to wait....

Compassion

2009-06-08T13:19:00.000-04:00

Since adopting internationally we have always given to an international charity that works with orphaned children. About a month ago at church there was a presentation for Compassion International, a child-sponsor program. I signed our family up to sponsor a child. In honor of Oliver, we chose a child in Africa. We were assigned a three-year old girl living in Ghana.

This is the second child-sponsor program in which we have participated, the other is in Asia. We have received photos of our sponsor child in Ghana and she is precious, her photos are also heart-breaking. I can't wait to get our letters and reports.

If you are interested in sponsoring a child, you can click the link to Compassion International above.

Making Plans

2009-06-05T08:22:00.000-04:00

What's that saying about the best made plans?

When we started this adoption journey, we thought we would be moving to a larger home this fall. Selling one home and moving to another is easier said than done now right now. When we moved from Dallas to northern NJ, it was a big and costly move and quite frankly, sticker shock. It was insane when we moved to NJ in 2006, the height of the market. In our desirable town, we bid on 3 houses and 3 bidding wars before we were the winning bidder on the house we live in now. I can hardly believe the insanity of what I witnessed purchasing a home in 2006 in NYC suburbia. The people we bought our house from lived in it for 2 years and they made a profit of what our home in Dallas cost. Our realtor told us we could live in our little house for two years and then we would move on up. I knew it was too good to be true, but you have to live somewhere and we didn't want to pass us the tax break.

Now, times have changed and its a great time to buy, not a great time to sell. Adding to the trouble, because of the cost of housing in our area, its all jumbo loans, right now, every lender wants 20% down. That's a sizable chunk of change, especially when you factor in the amount it would take to unload our house. So, we are revising our plans. We're staying put for the forseeable future. That means I finally have to downsize our furniture and all the stuff we have had taking up space in our basement for the past three years. We moved from a 3000 square foot house to one almost half the size. Add to that the massive amount of children's paraphanalia and I have some purging to do.

We toyed with the idea of purchasing a cosleeper and having Oliver sleep beside me at night. We were thinking of doing this so we could continue using our guest bedroom as a guest room. But we decided the other night that after our summer guests leave, the guest room will go to a storage unit and it will officially become Oliver's room and he will sleep in there. Chloe has a queen bed and when guests come, they can use her room. Trust me, she's in our bed most nights anyway so it won't put her out.

Matt says he and Chloe are picking the paint color. That means I need to get going picking out the bedding so he will have some inspiration (or should I say a strong hint) at what color to pick. In two weeks I am going to the Po*ttery Ba*rn outlet and am hoping to get some ideas.

In the meantime, the list of to dos is growing. Its raining today, so I guess its a good day to get started.

1 Month Since DTE

2009-05-26T14:11:00.000-04:00

This is Harder Than I Thought

2009-05-13T14:35:00.001-04:00

I am accustomed to the adoption process through China---at least we know where we stand---in a very long and slow moving line at the moment. The Ethiopia adoption process is not so clear cut. You don't get a LID and you don't have a clear idea of how many referrals are coming out and at what pace. You just wait, wait for the call. It could be 6 weeks from now, it could be 6 months from now. Having no idea on when, that's the hard part. Its much harder than I imagined.

Last night Matt and I were discussing our referral scenarios and I realized I should start researching and making plans to start our immunizations for our travel to Africa. I also have a long list of to do items to baby-proof the house. Chloe is not going to be happy, but I have to sort through some of her toys and put away the ones with the little parts that can choke infants.

Since our dossier is in Ethiopia, I no longer have a list to check and double-check. I need to create one. So, without further ado, here's my pre-referral/pre-travel to do list:

find out what immunizations are needed and get have Matt & I get immunizations
have our travel/referral conference with our agency
get Oliver's room painted
baby-proof the playroom
sort through Chloe's toys and babyproof
purchase new stroller
purchase co-sleeper

That's it for now. I am sure I will be adding to the list.

Our Dossier is in Ethiopia!!!

2009-04-28T12:50:00.000-04:00

Celebrating D.T.E.

2009-04-25T08:32:00.000-04:00

To celebrate we decided to go out to eat. I wanted to go and eat Ethiopian food but the closest Ethiopian restaurant is in NYC and another is about 35 minutes south in NJ. Matt got home about 7 p.m. and I didn't want to make him turn around and head back into the city and it was getting late so we didn't want to trek south to the other Ethiopian restaurant in NJ. So, we did what was practical, grabbed one of the restaurant gift certificates we won a few weeks ago and went here. I know, I know, what were we thinking? Well, we had a $50 gift certificate to use and Chloe loves pasta, so why not we thought. I had eaten there before and it wasn't bad--should have driven for the Ethiopian food.

We got seated right away, someone took our drink order, our drinks came and then we were forgotten about---for 25 minutes. Apparently the two waitresses disagreed on which one should wait on our table. So, they decided neither of them should. Matt got it sorted out and we eventually did get to order and eat, not without some other complications. Needless to say, it wasn't a great meal out and we won't be returning. Not the celebration we wanted.

One of the exciting things about Ethiopian adoption is that you get to track your dossier to Ethiopia. We didn't get to do this with our two China dossiers---you get to wait and wonder until about 1-2 months later when you get a notice that you're dossier reached China and was logged in. Our Ethiopian dossier is different and I woke this morning to check-in and see how its progressing on its journey to Africa.

IT'S IN NEW YORK CITY.

All this work, the paperchasing, the worrying, the double-checking and triple-checking to have our dossier go to Oregon then to Washington D.C. then back to Oregon then on to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia to have it sitting 20 miles from my home in NYC. Too funny.

So, I'll keep checking in on it I am sure. And, yes, I signed up for the delivery alert, but yes, I am still checking in on it.

Our Dossier is on its way to Ethiopia!!!!

2009-04-24T17:09:00.000-04:00

I was seriously going from every Ethiopian adoption blog I knew calculating how long it averages to get your documents authenticated in D.C. when an email popped up from our agency----

"Dear Matthew and Shannon:
Your Dossier was sent to Ethiopia today!"

I was so happy to see that email. I was struck with emotion and became tearful to see the words that our dossier is on its way to Ethiopia. This is our third "dossier to..." in international adoption and the relief, joy and excitement is always there each time.

Onesies

2009-04-23T15:47:00.000-04:00

Its been a two weeks and one day since our dossier arrived at our agency. No word on its current whereabouts. I assume it is still being authenticated.

In honor of finishing our dossier I purchased these onesies for Oliver from a merchant on Et*sy and they arrived today. I think they are so cute.

Why Did You Opt for an International Adoption?

2009-04-21T11:24:00.000-04:00

I ♥ NPR

I found this interview on NPR. It is a discussion of why people choose to adopt internationally.

In our adoption news, no word yet on the status of our dossier. I am hoping/praying that it is sent this week to Ethiopia.

One Week Down

2009-04-16T16:00:00.000-04:00

Its been a week and a day since our agency received our dossier. It should be getting authenticated in D.C. now.

We won't be officially "waiting" for our referral until it arrives in Ethiopia.

Complete and Utter Panic...

2009-04-09T15:47:00.000-04:00

but it's a-ok now. For about 30 minutes this afternoon my heart was racing as I was trying to figure out what happened to our homestudy, what happened to our release and why our homestudy agency is so confused and why our adoption agency and homestudy agency are having some problems communicating. This is how it went down:

I'm at swimming lessons with Chloe when my cell phone rings. It's our homestudy agency. I pick up the phone--they have a problem. Our adoption agency has called them and want to know when they sent the draft copy of our homestudy for approval, because they don't have a copy of it on record. The lady on the phone then tells me she can't send them a copy because that's not our placing/adoption agency that they have on file--they have Great Wall. So, she refused to send them the homestudy. After talking to her for about 5 minutes, I am so confused. Why does our adoption agency need our homestudy draft, they have our dossier? And, why does our homestudy agency have no record of them as our placing agency? I hang up with her telling her I would call our adoption agency and get back to her in a little while.

So, I'm totally confused. I'm standing by a swimming pool trying to figure out--

a) why our adoption agency needs a draft of our homestudy when they have our completed dossiers with the approved homestudy in the dossier

b) why our homestudy agency thinks we are completing an Ethiopian adoption with Great Wall (our agency for our China adoptions and with whom they would never have had any communication yet b/c our dossiers for our China adoption was written by a social worker with Great Wall in 2006 when we still lived in Texas)

c) what the heck is going on?

So, I try not to panic and remain calm while I get Chloe showered and dressed. We make it home where I call our Ethiopian adoption agency to get the low-down on what they called our homestudy agency for exactly. It seems they have to report reviews of all homestudies for Hague compliance and they somehow didn't have the original email with our homestudy draft. They were calling to get it resent so they could have it on record. I then called our homestudy agency (here in NJ) to clear things up. They apparently had misfiled our paperwork and only had that we were waiting for our referral from China with Great Wall and would have to do a new homestudy for China. Apparently they realized they had misfiled something after they got off the phone with me, dug around and found all the correct documentation.

In the end it was much ado about nothing but it did send me into a complete panic until I could clear things up. Apparently, having clients who are in the process of two international adoptions at the same time is very confusing to our homestudy agency. Luckily, they figured it out and all is back on track--WHEW!

The Dossier Arrived at the Agency

2009-04-09T10:02:00.000-04:00

We got an email last evening that our dossier arrived at our agency. It will now be sent to D.C. for authentication and then it's off across the Atlantic.

Our dossier should be in Ethiopia before May!

What Happens Next?

2009-04-08T13:42:00.000-04:00

Our dossiers should arrive at our adoption agency this afternoon. Yes, for an Ethiopian adoption you must submit three dossiers. Once our dossies arrive, our agency will spend some time reviewing them and barring any errors in them will send our completed dossier to Washington, D.C. for final authentication by the State Department and Ethiopian Embassy. That’s right, Hillary gets to sign off on our dossier. After that our dossier is sent by our agency to Ethiopia. On average, it takes about 2 weeks for our dossier to go through this process before it finally departs for Ethiopia. One of the neat things about the Ethiopia process compared to the China adoption process is that we get to track our dossier from the U.S. to Addis Ababa, so we will know the exact time it touched down.

Once our dossier makes it Addis Ababa, here’s what follows:

1. Our dossier is translated to Amharic. The dossier is then presented to the officials at the Ministry of Women’s Affairs (MOWA) and the orphanage, Toukoul. After reviewing our dossier, the orphanage will refer us a child that best fits our requests and family. This can take anywhere from 3-9 months.

2. We receive medical history, photos and information on our child. Once we accept we begin the wait for our court date. We will be unable to post any identifying information on our child until he is officially ours. So, sorry, no photos on this or the other blog.

3. The court date is several weeks after referral. Also, the courts will close this August for the rainy season, which, depending on when we receive our referral, could delay our court date. Our agency estimates from referral to bringing Oliver home will be 2-5 months. A judge will hear our case and will hopefully grant us custody of Oliver. We will officially be his parents and can plan our travel dates.

4.We go to Ethiopia to bring our son home!

I haven’t spoken to our agency about the latest timetable but am planning on doing so once we hear about our dossier.

The Dossier is Done!

2009-04-07T11:04:00.000-04:00

Our final document arrived this morning and I just finished checking and double-checking our three dossiers--and they are complete. I just sealed them in an envelope and after I pick up Chloe from preschool we are overnighting it to our agency!

Losing My Mind

2009-04-05T07:46:00.000-04:00

Funny story...now that our dossier is almost complete I am eagerly anticipating when it will be finished and sent to Ethiopia so that we can move on to the waiting game. According to my husband, Matt, I go completely neurotic when I get close to finishing a dossier. I apparently become an utter nutter.

We knew that we had a few adoption-related items to complete yesterday--get our passport-sized photos taken and get our introduction letter notarized. We had a fundraiser to attend last night and I had to help set up for it in the morning. After setting up I came home and we all had lunch together. Afterwards, Chloe started playing and Matt sat down in the recliner for a nap. I seized the opportunity to grab our dossier and give it a once over and see what else needed to be completed. I got so engrossed in checking over the dossier that I glanced at the clock to see that it was 12:48 p.m. I went into super freak-out mode and started yelling, "We have 10 minutes to get to the bank before they close!" (to get our paper notarized). Matt popped out of the chair from his slumber, grabbed his shoes and coat while I assisted Chloe in finding her shoes (which I didn't tie).

We rushed to the bank in the car all the while with me shouting, "we're not going to make it!". I pull into a parking spot, avoid paying the parking meter and rush into the bank like a stark raving lunatic with Matt and Chloe following behind. It was only then that I found out that the bank didn't close for another hour. After the bank, Matt and I got our photos taken and we came home after another errand. We had been gone about an hour when we pulled into the driveway to find that our dog was waiting patiently in the yard--as we rushed out of the house without bringing her back inside.

The moral to my story is that I must have baby on the brain. Our dossier should be sent off next week to Dove barring any unforseen circumstances. One of our reference letters has to be re-written and notarized again as I realized that the notarization expires in 2009, which is a no-no, the notarization should be a year or more from the date the letter/paper is notarized, so it had to get redone. Tomorrow our state authenticated I-171h should arrive. Once our new reference letter arrives we will be done with the paper chase and on to the waiting phase.

Hopefully my neuroticism we lessen, but I highly doubt it.

An Interview on IA...

2009-04-03T21:22:00.000-04:00

This was on CNN.com today. You can link to the article here.

(CNN) -- Malawi's decision to reject pop star Madonna's adoption of a local child has reignited global debate about the ethics of international adoption.

Author Melissa Fay Greene poses with her family, which includes biological and adopted children.

Some international aid groups have praised the decision as best for the child, a 4-year-old girl named Chifundo James.

"I think it really highlights the bigger picture that there are so many children living in poverty in Malawi, and while Madonna has good intentions ... children would be better off staying in their own communities whenever possible," said Karen Hansen-Kuhn, policy director for ActionAid USA, a development group that also works in Malawi.

"We really need to stay focused on the needs of Malawi and of all the children there," she added.
To get another perspective on the situation, CNN also talked with Melissa Fay Greene, an author and mother of five adopted children.

Greene, who lives in Atlanta, Georgia, is the mother of four biological children, four children adopted from Ethiopia and one adopted child from Bulgaria.

The following is an edited transcript of that conversation:
CNN: What's your initial reaction to the news that Madonna's adoption of a Malawian child has been rejected?

Greene: Surprise. ... It was awfully tricky with Madonna's first adoption, when the child turned out to have devoted family members nearby. [The singer's adoption of a Malawian boy was finalized last year.] And if that's true with this child also, it seems a similar sticky situation.

That's not the situation for the majority of orphanage children around the world, who don't have caring grandparents or aunts and uncles a short walk or bike ride away.

I think it gives people an odd perspective on what international adoption can mean for children who don't have any support network outside the walls of an orphanage.

You often hear attacks on international adoption as robbing a child of his or her culture, and that's both true and false. It's true that an internationally adopted child loses the rich background of history and religion and culture and language that the child was born into, but the cruel fact is that most children don't have access to the local, beautiful culture within an orphanage. ...

There's a culture in orphanages that children are eager to escape from, and it's a culture of being reared as a group and not being doted upon by parents. For any child, that's the bottom line. The fact is that a human child wants that mommy or daddy or both. We're just wired to want that and to need that. And there's no way an institutional setting can give a human baby what the child needs. It's impossible. So you have to balance priorities. ...

I think what some of the human rights group say is absolutely accurate: that international adoption does not begin to solve the problems of the world's orphaned children. It's truly not the answer. ...

At the same time, international adoption, even though it doesn't solve the whole problem, it solves a problem for a few. I think it can be a brilliant solution to the problem of adults wanting a child in their lives or wanting more children in their lives and the problem of children who want parents in their lives.

CNN: How is it different for a celebrity person seeking an [international] adoption than for yourself?

Greene: We don't jet in, take a child and fly out with a child. For an average citizen trying to adopt, it takes most of a year. First of all, you work with a country that already has international adoption regulations in place, so you have a bureaucracy dealing with international adoption. A big part of that is determining that the child is a true orphan, that there is no one who can care for the child. And in the case of our older kids' adoptions, people had to come to court to testify that there was no one to take the children. So you don't run the risk of 'Oh, whoops, there's a grandmother down the street.' ...

CNN: There's been some chatter today online questioning why a person wouldn't adopt an orphaned child from their own country.

Greene: Within the adoption world, it's a non-issue. There are children all over the world who need families, and some find their children in Philadelphia, and some find their children in Bulgaria, you know? ...

It's just outsiders who look on and judge disapprovingly, but then they don't go on to adopt the neighborhood children, right? ... There are many children who need help, and anyone who wants to reach out and adopt a child from foster care or from a Russian orphanage should reach out and do it.

CNN: What has the experience been like for your own foster children?

Greene: We're a white Jewish family in Atlanta, but Atlanta is a major city for eastern African immigrants. So our children are in touch with the Ethiopian diaspora, and they feel very much a part of that. Atlanta is full of Ethiopian restaurants, markets, festivals. For a while, my kids were playing on weekends with an Ethiopian soccer league. I have an Ethiopian baby sitter who speaks to them only in Amharic so they won't lose their language, and we always have Ethiopian food here.

Two years ago, we went back to Ethiopia with the kids and had a big reunion for one of my sons and his extended family ... We just consider ourselves sort of part of this amazing bicontinental family.

CNN: The first time you adopted internationally, can you tell me what your ethical considerations were and how you worked through that personally?

Greene: Our first adoption was of a boy in rural Bulgaria. An incredibly poor orphanage. The kids were hungry, thirsty, no education. I first met our son, Jesse, when he was 4. He was 4 years old, and he did not know what his own name was ...

When he first came, he was just so anxious about food. When he would wake up, he was just shaking, wondering if there was going to be enough food. So I started waking him up with food.
He had issues with water. He wasn't sure if there was going to be enough water to drink, so I bought him a little canteen so he could wear his water all of the time.

Do I have ethical issues about taking him out of that orphanage? I don't.

CNN: Is there anything else you wanted to add?

Greene: I admire Madonna. And I don't understand why everyone attacks Madonna. I think that she is in part trying to raise the world's consciousness about the African orphan crisis.

You know, 95 percent of the children orphaned by AIDS [globally] are in sub-Saharan Africa.

You don't hear world leaders talking about it. Where is the global outrage? ... So, into the breach steps a celebrity. But don't attack her for it, you know. Maybe her methods are not what ours would be, but how many of us are Madonna? But at least she is out there; she's creating a school.
Obviously, she's fallen in love with the Malawian children to such an extent she wants to make some of them her own. And I think that it's great. I just don't understand why the world's attacking her. Let other people step forth and do something. At least she's trying. That's my feeling.

NO FOOLIN'..."IT'S" HERE!! (I-171H)

2009-04-01T15:42:00.001-04:00

Chloe and I came back from our all-day search for Easter shoes to find that our I-171h arrived!!! Its only been 1 1/2 weeks since fingerprinting!! I snapped this shot and immediately made copies so I can send it off for state certification tomorrow. Hopefully our dossier will be in Ethiopia this month!!! Yipppeeee!!!

Going for the Last Piece of the Puzzle

2009-03-21T21:09:00.000-04:00

We went and had our fingerprints taken yesterday for our I-600! It was quick! There were only 4 other people in the place waiting. Hopefully our I-600 will arrive quickly and we can file our dossier in Ethiopia.

Fingerprinting Notice-Round 2

2009-03-11T21:33:00.000-04:00

Our second fingerprinting notices came in the mail today. We can make these appointments!! Yipppeeee!

Slowly but Surely

2009-03-05T16:54:00.000-05:00

For the last two days I have sat down and cranked out what remains of our dossier. This weekend we have to pay a visit to a notary--should be a marathon visit. Once all of those documents are notarized, I have to redo my medical letter next week. I missed that the notary on my doctor's letter expires this June. It has to be one year from the date it is written.

Now, I eagerly await our 2nd fingerprinting appointment date. Knock on wood, our dossier should be done in May.

Fingerprinting

2009-03-02T15:29:00.000-05:00

Just as I typed that we wouldn't hear from USCIS for another month on our fingerprinting, guess what arrived? In the mail on Saturday was our fingerprinting notice! I was so excited...until I opened it. Our fingerprinting appointment has been scheduled for a time that we will be in London. I was supposed to go today to mail the request for a date change but it snowed and I am indoors all day.

Processing Times

2009-02-26T11:58:00.000-05:00

I was excited to open the mail today and see a letter from USCIS. I thought it would be our fingerprinting appointment. NO, it was the receipt for our application filed on January 16. It took them over a month to acknowledge that we sent in the I-600a form. Great. I guess it will be another month before they acknowledge receipt of our homestudy and give us a fingerprinting appointment. They state on the letter it is 10 weeks to process the I-600a. That's 10 weeks after they get around to looking at your documentation that has been in their office for a month.

Final Home Study Draft Received

2009-02-17T17:20:00.000-05:00

It finally arrived. The biggest hurdle is complete! I am off to the post office to mail it off to USCIS.

So excited!

Checking In

2009-02-10T14:14:00.000-05:00

Our adoption agency called yesterday to check in. Our China-only agency never calls (and this is our 2nd go-round with them). Made me wonder what was wrong. The lady at the agency just wanted to know how things were going and if I had any questions. Made me worry---are we taking too long to get this dossier done? I mean this is our 3rd (or 2nd) adoption---we don't ever just get a call to check in unless we call you! Right? Apparently not with our Ethiopian adoption agency.

During our conversation, we did uncover that we have to re-do the letter from Matt's employer. He got a pay increase and it needs to reflect his current salary since our homestudy will too. Not too hard to do. Matt is getting it done today.

In the meantime, we are waiting for our home study draft to be evaluated and then the final copy should be coming our way. In some good news, our adoption agency told us that the I-600a/I-171h process has been going relatively quickly since other international adoption nations have gone to the Hague and now require the I-800.

I so want the home study complete so we can move to the next phase....waiting for referral!

Homestudy Draft

2009-02-05T01:30:00.000-05:00

We received the draft of our homestudy today. Matt and I read over it this evening and are sending it back to the homestudy agency for corrections. Not too much to correct, so we are very excited to have gotten through this milestone in the adoption journey.

WHOHOO!

2009-01-27T11:16:00.000-05:00

I received good news this morning from our homestudy agency---all our missing documentation has been received and a draft of our homestudy is being sent to us and Dove for review and approval! Yippeee! The end of the paperchase is in sight!

Ugh!

2009-01-22T19:01:00.000-05:00

We only received two copies of our criminal clearances so I had to request two more copies. They just came in the mail. They look nothing like the first two copies and they aren't notarized. Back to the police station tomorrow.

Off to the Post Office

2009-01-21T15:41:00.001-05:00

I am about to set out to the Post Office to mail the three remaining documents needed to release our homestudy. Our social worker never returned my call so I called the homestudy agency and left a message. It was returned on Tuesday and I finally got to speak to someone this morning that told me that we were actually missing 3 documents---a general declaration (that we actually completed with our social worker in September), a notarized reference (of which I had an original) and Chloe's adoption decree. After two moves, we have paperwork scattered here and there. I found the decree, in Chinese, which I hope is ok. It does say "Adoption Certification" at the top and have our names on it. The search for that document proved that I must sort and organize the boxes and boxes of documents in our basement!

I am off to the post office to mail these documents to our homestudy agency. Wish us luck that these three docs will finally release our homestudy.

Mailed off the I-600A

2009-01-14T16:24:00.001-05:00

I mailed in our I-600A and all the necessary paperwork today to our local USCIS office. All the documentation to release our homestudy should be in to our homestudy agency though I cannot get our social worker to call back and confirm.

I've been working on the dossier still and here's where we are currently:

Document Checklist for Ethiopia Dossier:

· Letter to the Board of Toukoul {WRITTEN}

· Family Registration Form

· Financial Information

· Letter from Bank {DONE}

· Criminal Clearance {GOT TWO COPIES—NEED TO RETURN FOR ONE MORE COPY}

· Two Letters of Reference {DONE}

· Letter from Employer {DONE}

· Medical Form {DONE}

· Marriage Certificate {DONE}

· Birth Certificates {DONE}

· Introduction Letter {DONE}

· Home Study Report {HOME VISITS DONE—WAITING FOR DRAFT COPIES}

· Obligation of Home Study Agency {MAILED TO AGENCY}

· Deed of Home

· Power of Attorney {DONE}

· USCIS Approval I-171h {I-600A MAILED}

· Passport Photos

· Family Pictures

· Adoption Education Certificates

Still Getting it Together

2008-12-15T22:31:00.000-05:00

As expected, the process of gathering the dossier has slowed to a treacle. Our homestudy is still not complete as we await the second round of reference while gathering the third set of references (which will actually go in our dossier). Our adoption agency needed its own set of references, our homestudy agency needed their own references and we have to gather our own references for our dossier to send to Ethiopia. I wish I had been knowledgable of how many references were needed so I could gather them from our friends and neighbors all in one fail swoop. Instead, I have had to return to our friends 3 times requesting references and asking them to get multiple copies notarized.

When we completed our two China dossiers, our adoption agency got our references. They didn't even go in the dossier. Its interesting to see the differences. China's medical forms were extremely specific while Ethiopia's only really requires a notarized letter from the GP stating you are healthy.

Once the new year has passed, I will be kicking the paperchase back into high gear. I'm setting the deadline to have the homestudy in our hands by mid-January.

The Dossier

2008-11-08T21:44:00.000-05:00

I sat down this morning to work on the dossier. I do it in fits and starts as time allows. The time it takes to put together the Ethiopia dossier in contrast to the China dossier is less. The only trouble we are really having this time around is with the home study. We are not accustomed to working with a home study agency and an adoption agency. The past two times we have done this our home study was done by our adoption agency. It’s so much easier that way. This time around we have had to get so many separate documents for our home study agency. Our poor friends and neighbors have written references and had them notarized three times now…once for our adoption agency, once for our home study agency and now for our dossier.

The other hold up we have had is in our physicals. We had two different forms, once again one for our home study and one for the dossier. Matt and I go to different GPs but both have been booked solid. Getting in for physicals and some blood work required by our home study agency has taken awhile. I had my physical and blood work last week and got my letter from my GP on Monday. Matt goes in another week and a half to his GP. Once his physical and paperwork is complete then our social worker should release the draft copy of our homestudy for our adoption agency to approve.

Other than that it has been so far so good. Here’s what required and where we are so far.

Document Checklist for Ethiopia Dossier:

· Letter to the Board of Toukoul
· Family Registration Form
· Financial Information
· Letter from Bank {DONE}
· Criminal Clearance {GOT TWO COPIES—NEED TO RETURN FOR ONE MORE COPY}
· Two Letters of Reference
· Letter from Employer {DONE}
· Medical Form {SHANNON’S DONE/NEED MATT’S}
· Marriage Certificate {DONE}
· Birth Certificates {DONE}
· Introduction Letter {DONE}
· Home Study Report {HOME VISITS DONE—WAITING FOR DRAFT COPIES}
· Obligation of Home Study Agency
· Deed of Home
· Power of Attorney {DONE}
· USCIS Approval I-171h
· Passport Photos
· Family Pictures
· Adoption Education Certificates

Ooops

2008-10-07T10:45:00.000-04:00

I knew when I commented in the previous post that things are going eerily smooth that I would have jinxed myself. On September 29, we mailed in our signed and notarized contracts along with our 1st payment. Once this is received, you are an official client of our agency and then receive your dossier guide.

I have so been waiting for the dossier guide.

So, yesterday when I went to the mailbox, there was a big envelope from our agency. I was so thrilled. I ripped it open hoping to discover our dossier guide. Imagine my great dissappointment as I saw our contract and check returned inside. WHAT?!

We missed initialing on one page. We overlooked it. Our notary even overlooked it when she double-checked that we initialed and signed everywhere. Last night we initialed the page and this morning I re-sent the signed and initialed contracts back to the agency along with our check.

Next week, I will begin checking the mailbox every day for our dossier guide!!

In the meantime, we are finishing gathering all of our needed documents to complete our homestudy.

Into the Thick of It

2008-09-18T22:51:00.000-04:00

In a few days I will post our adoption timeline/process. We have completed our interview with the agency, received our contract and are in the paperchase. So far we have had two homestudy interviews and we have our 3rd and final interview next week. We have to get our physicals (including Chloe) and our homestudy agency needs our three references returned and our homestudy will be ready to go. At our final interview next week we get to read a preliminary draft of our homestudy.

In the meantime, I have been gathering some of the documents needed for the adoption (like birth certificates, etc.). Since this is our third time gathering items for a dossier I began collecting everything about a month ago. Once we also see our draft homestudy next week I will begin gathering the paperwork and documentation necessary to file our 1-600a.

So far, gathering everything for the dossier has been eerily smooth, including our homestudy. Lets hope it continues that way.

Welcome to our Journey to Oliver

2008-08-04T14:54:00.001-04:00

You have found the link from our Family United blog and discovered that we have come to the decision to do a concurrent adoption from Ethiopia. Really, it makes me laugh and snort when I say "concurrent" because with the current status of China adoption there really is nothing concurrent about it. We hope to have our Ethiopia adoption completed next year and will still probably have another year to wait for Emma Claire. (Yes, we are still going to complete our adoption for Emma Claire.)

To cover all the bases so to speak, below are some generally asked questions about this decision:

What brought you to this decision to adopt from Ethiopia and China at the same time? (The long version)
We have both always agreed that we wanted 3 children. Ideally we wanted 2 girls and a boy. We were bestowed the wonderful gift of Chloe from China in 2005 and knew we would return to China for a sister for Chloe, Emma Claire. We began that process in 2006 and were LID 10-16-06.

After we had Chloe and were waiting for Emma Claire, I knew I didn't need to give birth to mother a child and to love a child as my own. It was at this time we began discussing adopting from Africa or to do a domestic adoption of a bi-racial child and said that we would do so after Emma Claire came home.

After our dossier was sent to China, things really began to slow down. We were first told to expect a referral/travel around the Olympics, then we began to think we would get a referral when Chloe was in kindergarten. Now, we have no idea and our best guess is within the next 2-4 years we will get our referral for Emma Claire. Knowing this reality, and knowing that we aren’t getting any younger we felt we couldn’t just put everything on hold until after Emma Claire’s arrival. We want our children to be able to share their childhood together, not be so far apart in age that they have no common interests.

With that in mind we began exploring our options and decided to pursue a concurrent/interim adoption, thereby making Emma Claire the 3rd child, the youngest.

Do both your agencies know you are doing this? Does it jeopardize your China adoption?
Yes, both our agencies know about the other. When we began looking at agencies, my first statement was that we were LID 10-16-06 for a China adoption and could we do a concurrent adoption. It seems that more and more agencies are allowing concurrent adoptions. I came across 2 agencies opposed to it. Of all the agencies I spoke to who allowed concurrent adoptions, all of them told me that the timeline was very do-able and we would be home with our son well within the one-year timeframe China likes. Of course, our China adoption agency told us that we had to have Oliver home for one year before our China adoption could be completed as per CCAA guidelines.

Why Ethiopia and not domestic?
Our first thought was a domestic adoption and domestic agencies are the first ones we called to research African-American adoption and bi-racial adoption. However, we have had a failed domestic adoption in the past and are wary of the process. We also took into consideration that we have Chloe and more than likely we were told some travel would be necessary for an extended period, because in all likelihood we would be adopting from another state. We discussed and compared our domestic and international options and decided to adopt from Africa. The two deciding factors were -
· Every 15 seconds a child is orphaned in Africa and there are millions of children in need of a family. There are few options for these children and the governments in many countries in Africa cannot assist these children.
· Having been through the international process before, and having one child from China, we knew the process, knew it worked and felt more at ease in the international program
That was our process. It was what felt right to us.

Once we decided to adopt internationally, we looked at Haiti, Ghana, Ethiopia, Burundi & Rwanda. We spoke to various agencies about each program. Researched each on the internet and read family blogs of people who adopted from each country. In the end, we felt the Ethiopia process fit us best.

How did you find your agency?
Over a year ago I began researching Ethiopian adoptions. There were fewer agencies then and two agencies stuck out in my mind, mainly because they had been doing Ethiopian adoptions the longest. When we began researching an agencies in earnest my process was this-
1. I went to the U.S. State Department website and pulled up the list of Hague accredited agencies. I then went to each and every one of the agencies and made notes on which agencies had programs in Africa. I did not research agencies that had temporary accreditation. **Just as a note of information: Ethiopia is a Hague nation, meaning you HAVE to use a Hague accredited agency to adopt from Ethiopia. I was amazed in doing a general search for Ethiopian adoption agencies that there are agencies saying they have Ethiopian adoption programs but are NOT Hague accredited agencies.**
2. Once I had the list, I researched the countries and then called or contacted the agencies for more information on their international programs in Africa. I made a point at this time to ask if the agency allowed concurrent adoptions to eliminate those who did not.
3. Once we received more information from the agency, we sat down, reviewed the materials, research the agencies in the Adopt Africa and Ethiopia Adoption Agency Review Yahoo! Groups.
4. In the end, we chose one of the two agencies I had first noted in my agency research on Ethiopia over a year ago. We chose Dove in the end. We connected with them more, they were open about the process and informative and they have been doing the process since 1992. Many of the agencies we spoke to have just started their Ethiopian adoption program.

How long will the adoption process take?
Just like with any adoption process one cannot say how long it will take. The current timelines are this—
Time to Complete Dossier ---- 4 months on average
After dossier is complete, time to referral ---- 3-9 months
After referral, time to court ratification ---- 2-3 months
After court is finalized time to travel ---- 4-6 weeks
ESTIMATED WAIT TIME (start to finish) ---- 10-17.5 months

Just like with all our other adoption journeys we will be keeping this blog as a record of this process.